It wasn't until I realized that I didn't want a relationship that I saw how emotionally un-ready I was for one... and looking back at my relationships, the signs are obvious
For the record, my credibility comes from being a girl who has tried to get into multiple relationships in the past year until ultimately realizing I was NOT mentally ready for a relationship.
1. Dates Give You Anxiety
Dating should be fun. Should you be nervous? Probably. I would be scared of you if you weren’t nervous for a first date.
But you shouldn’t be dreading it.
I realized I wasn’t ready for a relationship when I was in my car on my way to a date and felt like I was about to have a panic attack. My heart was racing and I kept thinking I should just go home. I didn’t.
But I was timid the whole time and couldn’t wait to leave. Since then, I have had NO desire to go on a date with anyone. If this sounds like you, you're not ready for a relationship.
2. LOOKING For Red Flags
If you're on a date with someone, or just talking to them, and you hyper analyze everything they do - you’re just looking for red flags.
You’re literally looking for a reason to NOT have a relationship.
I’ve done this before. I’ve made a pros and cons list. And if you even have to make a pros and cons list, NO you are NOT ready for a relationship.
And if you need even more convincing, add this to your list of research:
3. Communication Is Work
As someone who has over 100 unread text messages and 400 unread emails, I understand that communication is work.
However, if you don’t want to text someone you're talking to or dating; if answering them or facetiming them seems like a chore to you, you’re not ready for a relationship.
I was talking to this guy once, and texting him was fun in spurts. But I quickly realized I was only talking to him because I was bored when he asked to FaceTime and my inner dialogue immediately said “wtf why would I wanna FaceTime you”.
4. You HATE Being Alone
Trust me, I love people as much as anyone, but sometimes you need to be alone.
As much as I’m obsessed with being in a social setting, sometimes my social battery runs out and I like to be by myself in my room, reading or watching Netflix. If you can’t handle being alone, that’s something you need learn to do. It’s kinda a form of co-dependency.
To be ready for a relationship you first need to be okay being alone.
5. You Jump From Person to Person
And I know this because I’m guilty of this (confession time because this is kinda whack).
I hyperfixate on one person at a time and obsess over them. Honestly, it gives me something to do. I don’t have a crush and I miss that excitement, so I make myself have a crush.
(I told you, it’s weird)
But after that either goes nowhere or fades out, I find someone new. If you do anything like this, trust me, you’re not ready for a relationship.
You just like to entertain yourself with other people.
6. You Still Have Dating Apps on Your Phone
If you are hesitant to delete a dating app or try to convince yourself it’s fine because you’re not actually meeting up or talking with these people: you’re not ready for a relationship.
You are subconsciously looking for other people when you should be focused on only one.
Don't worry, I don't blame you, dating apps are like comfort items, knowing people out there think you're hot.
7. You Spend More Time Looking for a Relationship Than On Yourself
The healthiest relationships form from two people who are strong individuals; they don’t need to rely on one another, but they know that they can. If you’re constantly looking for someone else because you feel like you can’t be alone or single, then you’re not ready for a relationship. You need to do some work on your first.