Your 12 Step Program For Netflix and Chill

Here are some tips and tricks to make your Netflix and chill experience as enjoyable as possible. Take notes.

Unsplashed

Step 1:

Confirm the time and place.

Step 2:

If you are certain you will be taking part in such an activity, have a list of TV shows or movies ready to offer up as options so as to shorten the search process.

Step 3:

Clear out your Netflix history that consists of murder documentaries and only murder documentaries. We don’t want them getting the wrong idea.

Step 4:

Stay away from stand-up comedy. You do not want that in the background, trust me. I’ve had a bad experience with Dave Chapelle. I don’t want to talk about it.

Step 5:

Please shower. Do not use 3 in 1.

Step 6:

Throw on something comfy and loose… easy to take off.

Maybe some cute undies? Savage X by Fenty? Rihanna, please sponsor me.

Step 7:

Offer to get snacks n drinks for the occasion, even if you think you won’t be eating or drinking them. Still nice to have on deck in case of an emergency.

Step 8:

If they have a dog, make sure you spend at least 7 minutes sitting on the floor petting said dog while you make awkward small talk with your partner.

Step 9:

Familiarize yourself with the premise to find the best escape route, again, just in case.

Step 10:

Put on Diners, Drive ins and Dives to set the mood.

Step 11:

Make sure the main character of whatever you decide to watch is not hotter than you. We cannot have that happening.

Step 12:

Keep your feminist agenda on the coffee table in plain sight.

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The most important part of the program is to have fun. Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Oh and don't forget the condoms.