Extroverts are the life of the party, but are they a good match for everyone?
You’ve probably already seen on social media that introvert + extrovert friendships are being deemed as "ideal" pairings. This sounds fake, but most of the time these two personalities can complement each other in social situations. As an introvert myself, I agree that with extroverts it’s possible to find great friendships that last a long time. Although introverts source energy from personal space and extroverts source energy from socializing, they can both benefit from each other’s company. But sometimes, as an introvert, hanging around extroverts can feel a bit overwhelming.
Having extroverted friends can help introverts avoid and cope with moments of social anxiety, but how beneficial is it to have extroverted friends as an introvert? Is it all positive, or are there negative results of that friendship?
Let's start with some of the cons of having an extroverted friend.
1. Extroverts love to be surrounded by people.
Unlike introverts, extroverts love being around others, making small talk, or just hanging out with people they've never met before. They usually find a person they already know at every party (it’s a small world for extroverts), and even if they don’t know anyone, they’re able to form bonds with strangers in seconds. Big crowds like this can be an uncomfortable setting for introverts—more so if it’s a spontaneous event. This disorienting experience happened to me at a party with my best friend, who’s an extrovert. She immediately connected with one of her colleagues, introduced us to some of her friends, and then to more and more new, strange faces. At one point, I lost her in the sea of people, and it felt like losing my mother in a supermarket!
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2. They talk more than they listen.
While extroverts don’t only talk about themselves, they will talk about anything and everything they find important enough to share. This results in long and seemingly endless conversations, and you could even be interrupted by them simply because they want to say something before it slips their mind. Most of the time, they share opinions without really reading the room first, which can make things awkward. Some people think these interjections are intentional, but extroverts don't really mean to upset or talk over anyone—they’re just talkative! But this can be tiring for introverts to entertain on a regular basis.
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3. They want to go out all the time.
Going out is one of an extrovert’s favorite activities. By saying no—because, as an introvert, you probably prefer to stay home most nights—your extroverted BFF might be offended by the idea that you don't want to go out with them, when, in reality, you don't want to go out with anyone. Getting extroverts to understand this can be difficult at first, but after communicating your feelings to them, they’ll usually come to respect your boundaries and stop pushing plans on you to go out if you don’t want to.
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So, yes, there can be cons, but by talking to your extroverted friends, most of these cons can be resolved easily. Extroverted people can definitely be a lot of fun. Let’s review the pros of having an extroverted bestie!
1. They make good conversations.
True, they might talk a lot, but that means there’s never an awkward moment of silence. Plus, they'll drive the conversation, whether it's small talk (the nightmare of every introvert), or when meeting new people. This is a blessing for any introvert who really doesn't like to carry conversations.
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2. Through them, you’ll probably make new friends.
Because they are always pretty comfortable in social situations, and so open to meeting new people, you won't have to worry as much about making friends on your own. A good extroverted friend—who’s understanding of your introverted tendencies—will introduce you to new people on your own terms, helping to expand your social circles. Even us introverts want to make friends, and having an extroverted friend can make the process so much easier.
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3. They’ll encourage you to grow out of your comfort zone.
Extroverts are great at helping you gain the confidence to try new things. Whenever you're afraid or insecure of putting yourself out there, an extroverted friend will be there to give you the extra push that you need by encouraging you and boosting your confidence.
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In the end, extroverts care deeply about their friends. They prioritize their friends’ safety and happiness, just like introverts do. Something introverts and extroverts have in common is that they both have the ability to serve as good, solid friends—just in different ways. So, if you’re an introvert with an extroverted friend, make sure to be patient, communicative, and take the lead to ask them out from time to time—they’ll love it.