I Write Letters To The People Of My Past

Writing letters to the people of my past has allowed me to set my emotions free.

Photo by: Gaelle Marcel

Old me,

You are naive and love everyone who cares enough to say hello

You give your heart and soul to the ones who eventually will break you

Years pass and you still wait for them to show up on your doorstep to say I’m sorry

At such a young age you experienced the worst kind of pain

Betrayal

You think you will never escape the fiery pits of hell

But you did

You reached deep inside your soul to find that bright sunshine that once was the best part of yourself

You found love

Not in a man who wouldn’t give you the affection you so desired

You found love in the best place

Within your own heart

Carry this with you and cherish it

Know that you are beautiful no matter what anyone tells you

Your own heart is more precious than gold

Old me

I do not miss you

But I love you

Because I know someone needs to even though it feels like no one ever will

Sincerely,

New me

This is one of the first letters I ever wrote to my past self. Looking back I see growth, empowerment, and such a great deal of self-love. I keep these letters to remind myself of the battles I’ve conquered and the relationships I’ve built. I still love the past me, but I’m even prouder of the person she’s become.

Writing has always been my emotional outlet. Whether it was poetry, creative writing, or journaling placing my thoughts on paper brings me a sense of peace.

It wasn’t long after experiencing emotional trauma from bullying and anxiety that I began writing letters, in a collection I’d later call “Sincerely, Me”, to the people in my past that took a piece of me with them. It was my way of coping and giving myself closure in spaces where I didn’t have it.

Sometimes it’s hard to speak our thoughts. In those moments, I encourage you to write them on paper. You never know what you could gain!

SELF CARE

Writing letters to people from my past has become extremely important in my self-care routine. Life is so busy I forget to take time to connect my body, mind, and soul.

Sitting down with my notebooks allows me to make time with myself and my thoughts. Through journaling, I’m able to create a better relationship with myself, as I have a safe space to release my emotions towards situations or individuals.

Journaling has also greatly contributed to my progress in therapy. With so many thoughts spinning in my head, having specific situations and emotions written down help me to grasp the root of an issue so that I can come to peace with a situation.

FORGIVENESS

I’ve always been the type of person who forgives anyone that has wronged me, no matter the situation. Yet, I struggle to forgive myself for situations or actions that were completely out of my control.

Photo by: Susan Q Yin

Through writing letters to people from my past, I’m able to come to peace with the negative moments that have happened between us. Forgiving myself is a journey of a lifetime, but letter by letter I’m learning to keep the past in the past, loving and forgiving myself a little more every day.

COMMUNICATION WITH MYSELF

If you’re like me, you preach communication with everyone in your life and neglect to communicate with yourself. I often shove aside my own thoughts and feelings, concerned with everyone else’s perspective.

The amazing thing about writing letters that will never be sent is no one is ever going to know a damn thing I say!

Journaling gives me an opportunity to really sit down and ask myself how I’m feeling. I’m forced to be honest, open, and vulnerable. I’m able to truly understand the emotions I’m unsure about and clearly explain my thoughts.

Throughout this process, I’ve gained a stronger sense of communication with myself. If I can’t put my personal battles into words I will never gain the inner peace I so desperately desire.

Photo by: Iva Rajović

CLARITY

One of the biggest benefits of writing letters to the people of my past has been mental clarity. When I was bullied by an adult I had so many thoughts, questions, and insecurities. While my questions will never be answered, I have made peace and gained my own sense of peace with the situation.

My journals give me a place to clear my head; where no one is commenting on or judging my words. It’s simply me, the paper, and a pen.

Clarity is something we all seek but often have a hard time finding. For me, I’ve found it in writing.

I’ve been able to gain inner peace that I never thought was possible and a capacity of love for myself that I never thought I had.

So, give it a try!

Grab a paper and pen.

Get cozy with a blanket and write a letter to someone in your life past or present.

Send it! Or don’t ( I know I never will).

Most importantly,

~trust the good vibes and spread all the love

Sincerely,

Me