It’s a weird habit and tendency to place your worth on the value you hold in other people’s eyes. You take other people’s compliments or feelings about you as facts about yourself. The need for constant reassurance from others about who you are is exhausting. I don’t know if that makes sense as I verbalize it, but in reality, I realize now that how you feel about yourself matters the most.
I used to spend most of my time worried about if people still loved or cared about me. In high school and early college, I put almost the entirety of my self identity on relationships and thought that it was the most important thing. I based how I felt about myself through how other guys felt about me in those relationships. I couldn’t grasp how to be confident on my own and needed constant reassurance that I was lovable. My family and friends watched as my infatuation with one person took a toll on me. It’s so weird how some people make you forget your own needs as if you aren’t a whole person yourself.
Being one of two single people right now in my house at college, being independent at this stage in my life is something I think about a lot. Not in a bad way, it just gives me more perspective on what it means to be by myself right now. I joke a lot about this in my house, but I think this single period in my life is currently needed for growth.
Taking my personal experience and thoughts on this part of life, I created a guide. It would be fitting to title it something like: How To Not Let Someone’s Absence Rip Your World Apart. I’m still not an expert on this, and the title is a little long, but it definitely encapsulates what I’m trying to say.
The word “someone” doesn’t refer to anyone specific. This is geared towards the feeling when a person comes into your life and fills a void. That feeling is powerful and can sometimes feel like it gets out of control. This guide reiterates that a person should never feel like a completion to who you are. They are not the solution to your life, you are already whole on your own! So, if things fall apart, it's helpful to remember that this separation does not take away from your overall being.