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What Not to Do Before Getting Into a Relationship

TEN things you should NOT do before he makes you his girlfriend!

1. Do not try to show-off with expensive gifts before you guys are official

It’s always awkward when birthdays or Christmas comes along when you’re in the in-between stages of dating someone. You contemplate if you should even get him anything because it seems serious but your still not sure. Usually after I get the guy I’m dating a gift shortly after we usually stop talking right after. They keep the gifts and I get to keep all the horrible memories. But thats just my luck. If you are going to get him something let it be anything but sneakers. He’ll just walk right out of your life with the sneakers YOU bought. It’s just a set up for failure.

2. Don’t rush into a relationship, wait at least six months before making it official

Just because four months have flown by and it feels like you’ve known him your whole life, YOU DON’T. There’s more to discover in a person then in just four months of the honeymoon stage. Enjoy the early stages of getting to know someone and learning everything there is to know about them. Let him get to know you as well. The person you meet in the first two months of dating might not be the same person six months later.

3. Don’t say “I Love You” until he says it first

Ladies be brave. I know you’re eager to say "I love you" after every nice thing that he does for you in the beginning, but don’t. No matter how much you do for a guy that will never make them love you. And once he knows you love him, he'll know that he has you in the palm of his hands. There’s nothing he can do wrong because he knows you're sprung and can get away with anything. And that’s what guys do! They get you where they want you and take advantage. So just don’t say it!

4. Don’t be too clingy

I’ve always been the type of person who wants to talk to the guy I’m dating 24/7 and hang out all the time but for some guys that can be a big turn-off, especially when you aren't official yet. In my last relationship I realized that I was always the one hitting him up to hang out or calling him first but once I backed off a bit, I noticed the roles started to change a bit. He started asking me to hang out and would text me more. So when you cling less he will start to cling more, take notes!

5. Demand more or get stuck with less

Now ladies, don’t be naive when it comes to something you want in your relationship such as respect, communication, consistency and attention. If he isn’t showing you respect demand it. If there’s one thing you should never tolerate is disrespect. If communication is off and he hits you with the, “Oh I’m a bad texter” or “I don’t be on my phone a lot” he’s lying. It’s 2020, we’re always on our phone. Sounds like he just picks and chooses when he wants to talk to you. And if there’s no consistency there’s no way it’s going to work. You can’t put in 70% and only get 30% back. When your dating, both people involved must put in an equal amount of effort for it to work, and it shouldn’t be hard. If you feel like you’re trying too hard to make things work, then let it go.

6. Don’t be “Boring Betty” in the bedroom

It’s very common for young women to be insecure when it comes to talking about their sex life, but you shouldn’t be feel insecure with your partner. Don’t be afraid to try new things and spice it up. It’s sad to say but if you and your partners sex life isn’t spicy, he will go searching elsewhere. And no one likes a boring Betty in the bedroom, so don’t be Boring Betty.

7. Don’t get too attached to his friends/friend group

Meeting the guy your dating friends can be fun especially when they love you and you actually enjoy being around them. It can also benefit your relationship if they like you because when he talks to them about you they’ll always have your back. But rest assure, THESE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS! Just because you have a great time with them, and you talk to them on your own time like they’re your friends too does not mean they are. Never get to comfortable with them. Watch what your say because it will always get back to him. In one of my past relationships, I was so sure that the guy I was dating best friend would have my back when he was doing wrong, but it turns out he was playing me just like the guy I was dating. It was a team effort. So, learn from me, don’t put your trust in his friends, they ride for him not for you.

8. Don’t post until official

I’ve never been a fan of posting my relationship business on social media especially if it isn’t official. The best thing to do is keep it private until it’s permanent. Nothings worse than showing off your new happy relationship and then two weeks later that happy relationship is history. Besides, you don’t need people in your business asking you what happened to “what’s his name” when its none of the business. Best thing to do is post only on close friends or finsta.

9. Don’t destroy your social life

When first starting to date it's fun to want to hang out with him 24/7 but don't make your whole life about him. Still be sure to make time for your friends ands family. When its time for him to go out with the guys, they never hesitate but girls are so quick to dump their friends to hang out with a boy. And also give him time to miss you, he cant miss you if you're constantly up under him all the time.

10. Don’t ignore red flags

Red flags are everywhere in the beginning stages of meeting someone, we just choose to ignore it because we deep “in-like” with them. Now this doesn't mean to comment on every little thing that may seem suspicious but always keep it in the back of your mind. If something doesn't feel right it probably isn't, so keep your guard up a bit.


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