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We Are Not Victims, We Are Survivors

What do you think of when you think of an abuser?

Trigger Warning: This article mentions sexual assault. If you find this distressing you can reach out to a variety of helplines.

Sexual assault is an act of physical, psychological and emotional violation in form of a sexual act, which is inflicted on someone without their consent. It can involve forcing or manipulating someone to witness or participate in sexual acts.

This happened to me five years ago. I didn’t realize it was sexual assault until three and a half years ago. Since then, I have been to therapy and have done a lot of work on myself.

When I was eighteen, a virgin and newly single, I went on my first night out with my grocery job crowd after being cheated on. I got pretty drunk and flirted with one of my coworkers. He ignored me and kissed some random. The narrative of me being obsessed with him appeared. At the end of the night, he approached me saying, “Yeah okay.”

This is where I want you to pay attention.

He kept telling me I wasn’t sexy, (I wanted to prove him wrong).
He told me I was pretty when I had makeup on.
He wanted to have sex when we started kissing in a park. I said no and admitted I was a virgin.
He said he should have gone home with the girl from earlier.