Friendzone: the real heartbreak.
I’m sick and tired of hearing “nice guys finishing last” or about how they’re perpetually stuck in the "friendzone" with their female friends.
We always hear from that side of things, but what about all the girls who thought they had a genuine friend, when in reality, they just had someone lurking and looming over them, waiting for this girl to agree to sleep with said friend. That’s the real heartbreak.
I hear all this shit on TikTok from boys being like: Ladies, if you have best friends that are male, every single one of them has thought of sleeping with you, has WANTED to sleep with you and probably would in a heartbeat if you agreed.
Like ????? It’s almost as if boys don’t view us as multidimensional beings and can only see us through one lens.
It really feels like they’re essentially saying that the only reason to have a woman in your life is to use them… for sex?
And I’m not shaming the boys who shoot their shot with a friend. I understand feelings arise and you can’t help how you feel about someone. I’m talking about the men who strike up a friendship with a woman under false pretenses, and then once he gets denied, claims “I can’t be your friend anymore, then.” Because now I just lost someone who I thought was a genuine friend, and that hurts.
Speaking from personal experience, (and I’m sure much of us can) it sucks to feel like your entire friendship, or what you thought was a friendship, was actually entirely rooted in falsehood.
A relationship cultivated under disingenuous intentions made me question everything I had ever said or done throughout the duration of the friendship, second guessing myself with questions like, “did I ever give him the wrong idea?”
And then I start blaming myself for not catching on earlier, or maybe feeling too comfortable, so comfortable that I was able to get vulnerable with him and maybe he took that as me reciprocating feelings.
According to an article off a website called the art of manliness (take this with a grain of salt) researchers said that while most women viewed male buddies as strictly platonic and weren’t attracted to them, the same could not be said for their male counterparts.
Not only were the men more attracted to their alleged lady pals, but they also mistakenly believed that the feelings were reciprocated and were willing to act on that falsely perceived mutual attraction.
The problem is women and men are often completely on two different wavelengths when it comes to platonic, coed friendships. And we need to fix this because I’m tired of being weary of every boy that displays normal acts of friendship toward me. I just want a pal.
Women are people, they have feelings and emotions and make for a great friend. And the more friends you have that are different from you, the better person you become! So try befriending a woman with the intention of just enjoying her company and conversation.