Talking dirty is so much more than a JAAAAYSSOOON Derulo song. It's fun. It's hot. It's exciting. Although it may be scary at first, below are tips and tricks on how to speak this sexy language. Trust me after reading this, you'll be fluent.
Nothing is worse than silence in the bedroom. Those mute minutes (or hours), can really suck. And not in a fun way.
That's when talking dirty comes to the rescue.
Although talking dirty can really add some flavor to your sheets, sometimes breaking the silence can be intimidating. Especially for those who prefer to keep their mouths shut in the bedroom.
Whether your partner is new or you've been married for 25 years, dirty talk can appear to be uncomfortable, awkward, or even scary. I'm sure you can remember the famous episode from the sitcom Friends when Ross had the vulva moment...
Trust me, I’ve been in Ross's position. Not fun.
In my past, I've tried to bring up the concept of using ~spicy vocabulary~ during sex. Sometimes responses were not always the greatest.
I've gotten answers like, “Jesus I couldn’t be doing that” or "I have to say prays in the morning in church with this mouth!"
So, if it puts me in these awkward situations why do I love it so much?
Oh, so many reasons...
It creates a space between you and your partner.
Using risque vocabulary can turn any place into a bedroom. Anytime. Anywhere. Dirty talk creates a zone where you and your partner can really get into the moment. Rather than just speaking to one another like you do all the time, new words and phrases create a separate space between work time and playtime...;)
Your deepest fantasies can become reality.
How does your partner know your kinks or fetishes if you never say them? Using dirty talk is a perfect time to share what you really want. If things are getting hot and heavy, don't be afraid to say what on your mind!
Despite the initial uncomfortableness, it actually can bring more comfort into the bedroom.
Let's be honest, no one is 100% sure all the time about what they're doing in the bedroom. Whether you're giving or receiving, dirty talk can make sure both parties are on the same page. Maybe you say, "Does that feel good" in a sexy voice or "Oh yeah, a little lower." Whatever you need to say, you can both critique and communicate with your partner to ensure you both are having a great time.
This communication is great too if you want to shut down something you’re not comfortable with. Remember, it's about consent. I’m telling you what I want. I’m showing you how into it I am.
Foreplay is more fun.
Dirty talk is the perfect opportunity to tease your partner. And teasing is a keep element to foreplay. It creates tension, anticipation, and excitement, which are all essential elements to an intense buildup.
It's fucking hot.
Who doesn't love hearing their partner moan? Let’s take it up a notch and hear their voice raspy and shaking, John Krasinski style “I want you. Right now.”
Oh, it gets my engine going...
If you're unsure how to go about using this saucy vocabulary in the bedroom, here are my personal tips for successful dirty talk:
1. Put on some music.
Anything by The Weeknd. Miguel. Some Rihanna or slow SZA. Even the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack (I lost my virginity to that soundtrack, ah the memories. Bit basic, I know)
Spotify playlists- just type in "Sexy Songs " or "Boom Boom Boom " or just make your own! You're welcome.
2. Start off simple.
Just tell your partner what you want to do to them. Nothing overly complicated, “I wanna make you cum” or "I wanna lick you all over." You don't have to start curing like a sailor. Literally just whisper in your partner's ear. It's truly that simple.
3. Embrace your inner porn star.
If you are more comfortable with talking dirty, then go all out. Put on a sexy voice, lick your lips, and moan. Have fun with it! If you make a mistake, it wasn't you. It was Crystal Hardon.
4. Practice makes perfect.
You don’t need to nail it the first time. Comfort will come in time. Just focus on being in the moment and enjoying every second.
5. Don’t take it too seriously.
Have a laugh, it’s meant to be fun, and if you can joke with your new partner that’s a hell of a start. Plus maybe hilarious will happen and BOOM, you got yourself an inside joke. Even better
6. Remember, they're just words.
Talking dirty is the same thing as talking. It's just words! You use words all the time! Don't freak out, just take things one sentence at a time.
Congratulations, you are officially fluent in talking dirty! Now you know what you're doing get out there and have some fun. Keep the conversations flowing and talk them up...