Swipe Through the Heart
Dating is hard, but choosing the app shouldn't be. Here's an app breakdown to help you decide which is best for you.
Sometimes, finding love online can feel less like a dream and more like a nightmare. It’s hard to know what pictures to post, what to say in your bio, or if the person you're messaging is really who they say they are (nobody likes a catfish).
Now, the biggest question: which app should you choose?
When I first started getting into online dating, I was overwhelmed (like when did someone create a dating app for cougars????). I ended up downloading the three most popular of the group–Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge–in an effort to figure out which was the best dating app for someone’s first time online dating.
If you’re looking for_____
A.) Someone who can give you a screaming orgasm
B.) Dirty sex with someone who probably won’t remember your name in the morning
C.) The best after-a-night-out sex of your life which may end in a hospital visit (#chlamydia)
Then congratulations, Tinder is for you!
Tinder is probably the most infamous dating app because of how many people use it to fuck. It's made so easy with one simple feature: swiping.
When Tinder first started, they created a cultural phenomenon around swiping left and right. It’s simple: if you like what you see, you swipe right, and if you don’t, you swipe left.
Swiping has made it easy to find someone you can be physically attracted to, but that’s not to say it’s impossible to find a real relationship on the app. There are plenty of nice guys behind the countless ab selfies (not that I’m complaining about the ab selfies, I always appreciate nice washboard abs). You may just have to look a little bit harder for it. Bottom line- if you’re not looking for something serious, then Tinder is probably your best bet.
If you're looking for____
A.) A late-night stroll and some ice cream
C.) Maybe just a little sex
Then Bumble is the perfect app for you!
Bumble is also a swipe-based app but it works differently than Tinder because you’re not just being shown images of the person. Every profile has six photos and some cute prompts, so you can learn a little more about the person before you get involved with them. A lot of times these prompts can be thought of as 'personality' prompts. The way someone answers a response tells you a lot about them.
PSA: Making a dating app profile shouldn’t be hell. The goal is to be as honest as possible and to show matches who you are. I’m a goofy nerd who likes the strawberry refreshers from Starbucks (who doesn’t?) and I made sure to show that in my profile.
This type of profile is best used for finding a relationship rather than a one-night stand.
***If you’re looking for that then I’d suggest something a bit sexier***
Get that red light going and put on your favorite small black crop top for your profile pictures. For the bio keep it short and sweet, i.e., Just looking for fun ;). You'll get so many matches so quickly, trust me.
The thing that makes Bumble notable is the messaging system.
In heterosexual matches, the woman has to make the first move in order to start a conversation. The feature is made to feel more modern and to empower women. It’s also great for guys who may not have their pick-up line game as strong. Also, in same-sex matches, both people have the option to send the first message.
Bumble feels casual and fun. My experience was pretty good in that I was able to connect to a couple of guys and have conversations with them. It was super chill and the prompts made for great conversation starters.
If you're looking for_____
A.) Some good conversations
B.) A guy that really gets you
C.) Guys that won't try to go down on you the first night
Then you found your match with Hinge!
Hinge is your best option if you're lazy (like me) because all you need to do is make a profile and the guys come to you. It’s also arguably the most wholesome of the three apps. Why?? Because more goes into your profile than how hot and how far away you are.
Unlike Bumble and Tinder, Hinge doesn’t work on a swipe basis. Instead, you get shown someone’s profile and you can like a part of their profile or hit the X to move on.
If you don’t feel like spending precious Netflix binge time looking at different guys, you don’t have to worry. Hinge will tell you when a guy likes your profile and then you can check him out specifically.
Hinge, I personally liked the most because, like I said, I am lazy and it’s so much easier than swiping through guys for thirty-minutes. The only downside is that I currently have 40+ notifications because there are a lot of guys who think I’m cute, but who can really blame them?
I am adorable.
In the end, there really isn’t a 1st place prize for dating apps. Everybody has their own style when it comes to dating and the best thing you can do is try a lot of things out until you find an app you can vibe with.