Time to be honest about the dead weight in your life. (Psst, your level-up is overdue!)
Whether they’ve been your bestie for years, or your boo-thang for months, sometimes the people you care about leave you more drained than excited. Hang outs feel forced, things that bother you start piling up, you sigh when they call, yet you sit there and take it ‘cause this is the new normal.
On the outside looking in, the answer is simple.
“If they’re not making you happy, get up and leave.” Point, blank, period. End of discussion...except it’s not.
Though it IS fundamentally true, leaving a situation is much harder than being forced out of one. What do I mean by that? When we deal with breakups, both with friendships and romantic partners, there’s usually a catalyst someone can jump on. They cheated on you, they lied to you, you fucked up and hurt them, etcetera etcetera, the list can go on. Point is you have a reason. A solid, concrete, hold-it-with-two-hands reason for why things are ending. But when we’ve outgrown someone, we convince ourselves our reasoning is weak.
“I’ve been friends with them for years, I can’t just throw that away,” he says, but they don’t talk like they used to.
“We don’t have any problems in our relationship, it wouldn’t be fair,” she sighs, missing the freedom of being single.
“The sex isn’t bad, but they want it all the time,” they complain, contemplating how rude it would be to play angry birds while they fucked.
My response to every one of these issues is to LEAVE. Just pack your shit and LEAVE. I’ve said this to many friends—and screamed this many times to myself—but low and behold, none of us seem to listen.