Should You Give Him A Redo?

With so much going on during this pandemic, leave your dating worries to me!

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“There’s this guy. We had sex once, two years ago. Right after he was sweet, made my bed, left a note, all the movie shit, but it got complicated. Clinic type complicated. We didn’t talk for a year. Out of nowhere, he reached out to me a few months ago wanting to get to know me. Wanting a redo? So, we’ve been talking for a few months, but talk every single day. We only went on one date though, that I initiated. There’s no mention of seeing each other again even though he knows I’m interested. He’s also trying to move out right now, maybe relevant… We still talked on Valentine’s Day but simply ignored the day. Am I wasting my time, is he just shy, or could this actually turn into a relationship?”

This seems like a very complex situation you have found yourself in, my friend.

It's hard for me to tell what this guy’s intentions are because part of me thinks that he could be leading you on, but the other part of me feels like he might be playing hard to get.

It seems like this guy is sweet and has the capability to start a real emotional relationship based on the things you mentioned he did after you first got together.

For a guy to make the bed after a hookup says a lot.

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Also, let's address this note... so he basically had sex with you once then wrote you a love letter? #keeper?

Regardless of any other factor, like maybe alcohol, he still wrote you a note. Sadly, in today's world, that's only something that really happens in movies...

Half of the time I can’t even get my boyfriend to make the damn bed. SO it does sound like he was raised right and to be respectful.

However, if you didn’t hear from him for a year, especially after having to go to the clinic because of him (or maybe the clinic was your thing, not sure), that is sending me red flags.

I feel like any relationship that becomes 'clinic-type complicated' is a pretty serious thing. If I hadn’t heard from a guy after a year who sent me to the clinic after the one time we had sex, and he reached out to me out of nowhere, I would be fucking confused.

Yet, clinic aside, he still messaged you one year later wanting to get to know you.

That’s a great sign because it could mean that he couldn’t stop thinking about you, one whole year after you first slept together. In any scenario, you've definitely been on his mind or he never would've reached out.

In my non-expert opinion, I think it would be reasonable to assume that he wants more than a friendship.

Why else would he continue to text you every single day?

Let's face it, you left a great first impression.

However, I will give attention to the other side for a second. Is it possible he's simply leading you on and doesn't want anything? Perhaps.

The main thing that makes me think he might be leading you on is that he was the one to contact you in the first place, but is not actively trying to see you again.

If he knows you are interested and is not acting on furthering the relationship, I think you should move on. When someone is interested they will make it known. They will make a move or do something.

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It takes two to tango, and this guy doesn’t even seem to be tapping his foot to the beat.

If you have to be the only one to initiate seeing each other in person, then he might not be as interested in an actual relationship but maybe just a fuckbuddy. To simply ignore and text every day could imply more of a casual friendship on his end.

The solution? I think you should straight up tell him what you want!

If you're serious about trying to start a relationship with this guy, let him know!

If he’s too out of it to see how into him you are, then it’s his loss. Just don't assume he's reading your mind. Make that shit known, then assess his interest based on his response.

I hope this helps!

Good luck,

xo