Female vs. male artist's perspectives on dating.
There’s no separation between the emotions that music provokes. Both male and female artists write music with one thing in mind: vulnerability.
From rap to R&B, vulnerability is the key to curating the most relatable and heart wrenching lyrics.
I wish I could say that music is my temporary escape from reality but most of the time, the songs I gravitate towards continue to remind me of the same painful relationship shit I deal with in my life.
At the root of all my relationship problems, artists like SZA and Rex have taken my exact feelings and formulated them into the words I don’t know how to say, or the words I’m too afraid to speak out loud.
From the verses to the chorus, the lyrical genius that exists in the music industry is unstoppable. Male and female artists use the real, raw moments in their love life and put them into songs that we can listen to and feel somewhat understood.
Bruised hearts and heavy souls are embodied in the music they produce and we can take so much from them if we just listen.
"Good Days" by SZA
I try to keep from losing the rest of me
I worry that I wasted the best of me on you, babe
You don’t care
What an iconic song. In her sultry lyrics, SZA expresses how you can give so much of yourself to someone and then feel like you have nothing left when it’s over. In the end, you’re the one fighting for the right to your own persona while they live carefree without you.
“Stuck On You” by Giveon
Waiting for you, even how you treat me
You’re my baby even when you leave me
Maybe I’m the problem and the one who’s causing all of this
Giveon touches on mistreatment and overthinking. He sings about how you can hold out for someone even after getting hurt because you’re so indebted to them. Putting the blame on yourself to cover their actions is an easy way to overthink the ending of a relationship, and a destructive decision for your mental health.
“Warm” by Dre’es
Little afraid it’ll be a disaster
But I know that I don’t wanna crash without you
You’re the one that makes me come alive
Fear is a factor that can stop you from committing to love. But embracing it instead of pushing it away may lead to a whole chapter of your life that you would've missed out on. Would you rather crash alone or with someone that makes you “come alive”?
“Single” by The Neighbourhood
Everywhere I go you show, whenever
I don’t ever mind sharing oxygen
I just wanna get lost in your lungs
Love is consuming, overwhelming, and breathtaking when you’re sharing it with the right person. You’ll remember them and the time you’ve shared when you find symbols of memories in the world around you. There’s no way you could feel as close to them as you’re dying to feel.
“Back to the Start” by KALI
You led me on
To think things were real
Then I moved on
And now I’m back here
KALI sings about falling back into the memories and the feelings you had with someone, even when they took advantage of your trust. The hold that someone can have on your heart can be frustratingly strong when all you want to do is move on.
It’s easy to fall back into the past.
“Sycamore Girl” by Rex Orange County
By the way, I don’t know how to be in love
I’m not afraid, I’m a slave right away
And I’m here for good
This verse hits home. Rex perfectly sums up love in 3 lines. He touches upon the fact that most of the time, we have no clue what we’re doing. That doesn’t mean we’re afraid though. You could want to love someone completely but not know how to, and that’s okay.
“Outside” by Zayn
I know I’m not so innocent
But the love I had for you was real
Hope it hurts you when you think about it
Our mind has to put the blame on someone, anyone. At the same time, we can feel that we played a part in the reason why we’re hurting. Diverting the pain by saying that you hope they feel the same vocalizes the frustration you feel about the situation. It’s a temporary pain reliever.
“that way” by Tate McRae
It makes no sense ‘cause we’re fighting over what we do
And there’s no way that I’ll end up being with you
But friends don’t look at friends that way
Tate is spot on when she curated these lyrics around the concept of ignoring an obvious connection. Denying feelings and masking them with things like argument leads to unnecessary hurt and heartbreak. Even if you don’t think you’ll work out, it doesn’t hurt to be honest about it. Or maybe, give it a shot and see what happens.
Artists write from personal experiences, stories, feelings, and whatever avenue they want to travel down to create the best interpretations for us to hear.
We find a certain level of comfort in other people’s pain because it reminds us that we’re not alone.
Music brings that sense of comfort alive.