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30 Questions to Help You Discover Who You Are

You're always changing, so "finding yourself" is a constant experience. If you feel lost at this moment in your life, here's how to get to know yourself better.

Guy with a green, yellow, white long sleeve shirt sweater doing a peace sign with the sky as a background.
Photo: Alex Conradt (UnSplash)

Figuring out yourself is a not a one-and-done task. All of us evolve every single day, but it's easy to miss the progress. Has an old friend ever noticed you're glowing? Or maybe it's the opposite, and a close one says they've noticed you become more insecure. These instances catch us off guard because we don't think people notice us that much, and because we think we know ourselves best.

If you're at a point in your life where you feel out of place, or the person staring at you in the mirror looks unfamiliar, then here are 30 questions to get to know yourself better:

  1. What feels like play and what feels like work right now?

  2. How is your energy and what is the main thing that's charging it and depleting it?

  3. Think of the people you saw this week. Who made you feel safe?

  4. What have you been dreaming about and how often does it repeat?

  5. Is the music you're listening to a window into what you're feeling?

  6. When was the last time you had a real conversation with your parents?

  7. What activity allows you to be yourself without feeling judged?

  8. Which basic need are you ignoring?

  9. Does your circle of friends make you feel good about yourself?

  10. How important is it to you that you experience romantic love at this stage?

  11. Is the physical place you're in comfortable or stimulating?

  12. Who do you look up to the most right now and what do you admire about them?

  13. Is your relationship with money providing you freedom or anxiety?

  14. Are you lying to yourself about anything?

  15. How cluttered is your room or apartment or house?

  16. When was the last time you felt sure about who you are?

  17. What insecurities did you gain during the last year, and have you thought about a plan to heal from them?

  18. Do you want to reconnect with old friends or make new ones?

  19. Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with?

  20. What do you value most when it comes to a potential partner?

  21. Can you identify pet peeves that didn't bother you a year ago?

  22. What do you lie most about to other people, especially those you love?

  23. Where has guilt been present in your life lately?

  24. Who do you text when you're bored or alone?

  25. Are you being unfair to people who care about you?

  26. Are there any beliefs you know are wrong, but can't seem to unlearn? What's stopping you?

  27. Are you leaving your room, apartment, house, enough to see people and change scenery?

  28. How are you showing people you love them?

  29. When was the last time you were grateful for the life you had?

  30. Be honest, what made you click on this list?

We hope these questions sprouted realizations and understanding, or at least made you more interested in getting to know yourself better. This a reminder that change is good. Challenging who we are, what we think and feel, is an integral part of being young.

Don't be afraid to face what you fear. Remember every day you have two options: evolve or repeat.


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