Yes, I tried to exploit Miranda for a few bucks... it's her fault for letting me.
Plan A: Manage Miranda
Several months ago I was sitting at my favorite brunch spot with my sister and step-dad when it hit me, I’m poor. Of course, this was before I learned that I qualified for unemployment (thank you shitty work-study). But I had this money problem where a lot was going out, and none was coming in… you could say I enjoy spoiling myself... daily...
Anyway, I did need money. So the next day I half-assed applying to jobs. This simply meant that I created a lot of accounts with my email but I never finished signing up.
Nothing was calling my name, you know? I was losing interest before I even reallyyyy applied. The problem was that I was looking for a low commitment, part-time, summer job during Covid… of course nothing was calling my name. It’s not like I wanted to spend my days hauling boxes around the Amazon warehouse.
At that point I put a pin in working... it seemed like it wasn't quite for me.
The following week I was painting my toes (as broke girls do) and realized the answer was right under my nose, literally.
FEET
PICS!
I told my step-dad my big plan:
Me pouting, "Frank, I’m going to sell feet pics. What do you think? Wanna go into business with me?”
Frank, "You should probably use your sister’s feet instead, they’re better," and he walked away.
*Me: jaw dropped, bug-eyed, and speechless*
Apparently, my feet are too ugly to sell to strangers on the internet… hmm… back to that one later.
Within three minutes of creepy internet surfing, I came across this incredible site,
Step 1: Are you buying or selling feet pics?
Step 2: Create your account
Obviously, I needed to be as safe as possible. Luckily for me, I know how to be sketchy, so I created a fake name, fake email, etc.
P.S. my alter ego is now Amanda “a.k.a. Manda” Mathers.
Find me at mandamathers@yahoo.com
Well, it’s not that made up because I used my sister’s real birthday and her first name is Miranda, Manda to me (lol sorry sis).
I had it alllll figured out.
The only other thing I had to do was take pics of her feet. That, and of course buy a burner phone then set up a separate account for payments. Like I said, I’ve got how-to-be-sketchy-101 mastered.
Cue: She Knows by J. Cole
Sadly, very sadly, we didn’t even make it to stage burner phone. I ended up paying for her pedicure and had everything planned for her first foot photoshoot, but she got called into work last minute. It ended as quickly as it started... just a problematic, impulsive idea.
With that plan trashed, it was time to think bigger.
Plan B: Introducing Seeking Arrangements
For the next section, here's a little guide to get you through the "lingo"
SA= Seeking Arrangements
SD= Sugar Daddy
SB= Sugar Baby
I’ve always known about SA but disregarded it because it seemed just a little too sketchy for me… well until now.
A few weeks ago I finally sat down with my friend and did it. I signed up to be a SB. And no, a SB doesn’t have to have sex with a SD to make money. From extensive research, I found out that it's very common for a SB to find a lonely man / woman and get paid simply by talking to them.
How accurate is that? Hmm I'm not that sure, but I'm telling myself 100% for peace of mind.
I was going to use my alter ego, Manda Mathers, since I already had the email and everything, but what would be the point? Even if I posted pics that weren’t on my social media, isn’t there still a way to do some reverse image facial rec shit to find out who I really am? So a fake name wouldn’t reallyyy make a difference.
I got as far as filling out the basic info: name, birthday, age, and header.
Here’s my header on SA: SB searching for an intellectual to engage in conversations with.
Although my profile is public, I don’t have any pics on it. And it's just about the sketchiest profile you've ever seen.
Still, I have the same questions I did with Feetify.
Do I buy a burner phone?
Do I set up a separate account to receive money?
Do I get a Venmo card?
Oh I know, let me just ask my parents how to successfully execute a SA account… lol
Sooo now I’m just waiting. Waiting to feel inspired on whether I finish setting this up or I abandon Plan B. I can tell you right now, there’s a 99.99999999% I won’t follow through. However, I'm often taken over by impulsiveness, that if one of my friends reads this article and tells me it’s a good idea I will fully commit to being a SB.
Until I get the sign that I’m meant to be a SB (yes I believe in signs) I will leave it on pause. Paused. Like every other life decision I have to make.
Check-in soon to see whether I followed through with SA or not.
Wish me luck, like actually.