Love Languages in Long Distance: A Guide

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Photo: Unsplash

Long distance relationships can be difficult, there is no doubt about that. You may feel like you’re having a hard time staying connected to your partner and that’s okay, it happens. Relationships in general can be a lot of work, especially when distance is involved.


Everyone has a different way of showing love to their partner, but how does it work long distance?


The idea of “love languages” came from Gary Chapman, Ph.D. He wrote a book called, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, where he describes five different ways to communicate love to a significant other.


Photo: The Healthy

Whether your love language is words of affirmation or physical touch, distance can make expressing love a hard task. How can it be easier?


You can start by being aware of your love language and your partner’s.


Words of affirmation

This is by far the most straight forward love language for long distance. It is so easy to send a text to your partner to remind them you love them or just check in and let them know you’re thinking about them. Taking a minute to shoot them a text can mean the world to them.


If you find sending a text boring, then another fun and romantic way to express your love through words is writing a letter. Write out your thoughts and spray it with your favorite perfume/cologne, they will love getting this surprise in the mail!


Gift Receiving/Giving


There is no reason for gifts to be given on only birthdays and holidays. It can be exciting to receive a gift from someone, but surprises are a lot more exciting. How are we supposed to give our significant other gifts if we don’t see them frequently?


Amazon is a great way to send your partner a little something that reminds them you’re thinking of them. (It’s the thought that counts.)


Try sending a little giving basket. Every once and a while when you see each other, whoever has the basket will fill it up and give it to the other person. Then the person who was given the basket returns it with gifts at a later date. Not only does the basket come with a gift, but it is also a surprise. This can totally be done by mail too!


Acts of Service


It may seem impossible to do acts of service when your partner isn’t with you, but I promise it’s not. Ask your partner if they need you to do anything. Even if your partner doesn’t have anything for you to do, they know you’re there to help them if they do need you.


Something sweet you can do for your partner is to send them food. Order them their favorite meal from Doordash or GrubHub. This is a great way to surprise your partner!


Another way to do acts of service for your significant other is booking trips in your free time, whether it’s just a week or a weekend. Buy them a plane/train ticket to see you or go surprise them instead.


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Quality Time


Believe it or not, spending quality time with your partner long distance is super simple. It is easy to call or FaceTime each other. Take advantage of Netflix Party and watch some movies or shows together. Not only will watching a show together give you something to do, but it will give you and your partner something to talk about.


One way to spend quality time with your partner is curling up in bed and sleeping, but that can be difficult when you live far from each other. A solution to this problem is rather simple: have a FaceTime sleepover. It can still feel intimate to fall asleep together on the phone, and you get to wake up to your partner.


Physical Touch


This love language is the hardest to achieve long distance. How are we possibly going to be able to fulfill the need for physical touch if we aren’t together?


A great way to still feel connected to your partner with this love language is by talking about what it feels like to touch them. Talk about what their hugs feel like or what it feels like when they kiss you. It may not relieve the itch to physically be touched by the other, but it's a step in the right direction.


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Love languages can be tricky long distance, but they're not impossible.

Express your love in a way that works for you!