By: Josie Bryan & Eli Stapleton
Ever look back and wonder if your bad date was just an anecdote to a funny story you’ll look back and laugh at, or was it potentially threatening to your well being / safety? We are here to help you determine the difference between the two.
Whether you’ve never dated or you have a fair share of dating stories, we all know meeting up with a stranger at a bar for drinks or even a cafe for coffee can end in a couple of different ways. Either the date goes well and you want to see them again, or it goes well but you just weren’t vibing totally, so you tell them upfront or ghost them (we don’t shame ghosting here).
Next is the bad date.
It’s a funny story you can tell your friends later and maybe even learn a little something from. It’s not the best experience, but overall it was harmless.
Then there is the date you originally dismissed as a weird experience, but you later realize both your well being and safety was questionable.
As women, we have to be hyper aware of our surroundings at all times in order to stay safe.
Women’s intuition is 100% a thing. And it’s a product of evolution. Women who had a strong ability to predict the needs of their offspring and their mate had a survival advantage. And it’s not just in the brain. There are neurotransmitters in your gut that can respond to environmental stimuli… aka where we get the phrase: trust your gut.
So, how do you quickly differentiate between just a bad date to acknowledging a threat to your safety?
Here are five examples of harmless, non-threatening behavior, on a date. We’re just sorry you had to suffer through the whole night with this guy.
They have a big ego and won’t stop talking about themselves.
They make comments that let you know they’re low-key sexist.
They’re still hung up on their ex. For example, they claim “she was crazy” or continue to dwell on their past relationship.
They keep checking out other women walking by or even worse, your server.
They subtly slut shame you, such as “you don’t seem like that type of girl.”
Now, read closely for five behaviors men exhibit on a first date that are potentially threatening. If this happens to you, you probably want to leave.
They’re default setting is to gaslight you, no matter what.
They try to be touchy even when the vibe is obviously not there.
They pressure and/or try to guilt you to go home with them.
They press you to get more drinks/continue drinking after you say, “I think I’ve had enough.”
They force themselves on you without consent.
Knowing when a date is actually turning into a sketchy situation is essential, and having a back-up plan when things start to go astray is a must have. ALWAYS make sure you share your location with your friends and tell them where you are going beforehand.
And remember when you get butterflies in your stomach or a feeling or uneasiness about a situation, that is women's intuition. So, if you keep telling yourself “I have a bad feeling about this,” take that voice in your head seriously.
It’s called “women’s intuition” for a reason. If you feel unsafe in the situation, TRUST YOUR GUT, and remove yourself if possible.