As the fall semester continues at full speed, you might realize that you haven't spoken or text with your high school friends in a while. Here's how to reconnect with them.
The first year of college is HARD. You get thrown into a complete new environment where you most likely don't know anyone. Between classes, adjusting to life in the dorms, and trying to meet new people, it's normal for time to zip by without you realizing it.
But as the weeks go by and you start to settle into the routine, you might suddenly remember that you've got an entire life outside of this campus. More importantly, that you haven't spoken to your friends or family in a minute. A very long minute.
Is it bad that you haven't texted your friends from home?
Before we show you different ways to reconnect with your social life from home, is important to ditch the guilt. You're not a bad friend for getting lost in the swing of things. College is hectic enough, and if you are attending school on a different city or state it can get even more busy. That is life. You shouldn't beat yourself over not being as in-touch or communicative as you hope, even if your friends for home have been.
The important thing is that you want to keep your friendships growing.
How can I reconnect with my friends if I haven't spoken them since the summer?
I won't sugar coat it: reconnecting with your friends can be a painful process. Not because of the guilt of being MIA for the last few weeks, but because their college experience is going to be completely different to yours (even if they're attending school near you).
As you start reaching out to friends, it's important that you keep in mind that their experiences can be positive, negative, or nothing at all. Your goal is to show them you care about your friendship, not seeing who's doing better or worse than the other.
Once you make the move to connect, here are some ways to do it.
Begin small. It's not a sprint.
Don't attempt to fit in the last few weeks into a single conversation. Your goal is not to dump information on them and disappear again, but to check in and see how both of you are doing. If you have a friend group, start big. Offer to do a group facetime or if you are able to, arrange a meet up for the next long weekend. Reconnecting with a group might be more comfortable, especially if you are easing yourself into the communication.
Listen first. Then see how you can help.
As you reconnect with friends, you'll notice that some of them appear to have a "better" or "worse" college experience as you. We throw those terms around lightly because not everything is comparable. However, if you happen to feel that you're in a more content place with your college experience so far, take a pause.
It's easy to see your friends sad or disappointed about their experience and wanting to help, but that's not always helpful. Do not tell your friends to do things that have worked for you simply because they worked for you.
For example, if a friend says that they are having a hard time keeping up with classes, don't tell them how easy it's been for you. Regardless if it's true or not, you want to be supportive. Remember that if college has quickly become a home-away-from-home for you, it could still feel like a foreign place to others.
Set a lazy day and time every month to speak to your friends.
Lazy as in nobody is doing anything during this day and time. As you settle into your new normal, you'll begin to pinpoint downtime in your schedule. Share this with your friends and see at which points it matches theirs. If everyone knows Tuesday nights are usually a bore, then commit to doing a Zoom call or a facetime every two weeks on those nights.
Migrate to a different form of communication other than calling or texting.
We spend so much times on our phones that we think texting and calling are second-nature at this point. But we don't realize how taxing these two tasks can be. When you text or call someone, you want and need to be present. Otherwise, the conversation becomes dull and it doesn't energize you, but instead drains you.
Instead of jumping straight into texting or calling your friends, try something different. Maybe you create an Instagram group chat so you can send them funny videos. Maybe you use BeReal to comment and keep up with your everyday lives. Even a snapchat group makes it easier to keep each other updated.
One of the great things about the internet is all the different ways we can connect using it. So, if you're looking to reconnect with your friends from home or even your family, consider these previous tips to make sure you don't lose touch.
Remember, at the end of the day you're in a new environment, a new life, and so are they. Don't beat yourself up if life gets busy. There are plenty of ways for you to enjoy this new stage of your life while also making sure you stay connected with your friends from high school.
Make sure to follow MUD on Instagram for more advice on how to thrive in college.