From toxic masculinity, to normalized misogyny, the actions of men affect all genders.
Perhaps you’re an ally looking for ways to be better, or maybe you’re just curious about the lives of others, either way I urge you to take these points in with an open mind. It’s easy to claim you’re blameless and dismiss the stories of others, but these are all derived from real experiences.
Don’t believe me? Try talking to the people, specifically the women, in your life and hear their stories for yourself.
Sometimes the most important thing you can do is listen.
1. Degrading people when they reject them.
Many people have been on the receiving end of this. A guy shoots his shot, we say we’re not interested, and instead of dropping it the guy makes us feel like shit. Sometimes they take every “compliment” they gave out and make it negative.
“You look sexy,” becomes, “you’re not even that hot.”
“Wanna come home with me?” becomes, “Who the fuck would sleep with you anyway?”
And “You’re pretty,” becomes, “Fucking bitch,” the second you say, “No.”
Not being able to accept rejection, and most importantly boundaries, is where normalized rape culutre begins. It’s not easy for people to say “No,” and being degraded makes saying it and holding our ground even harder, especially when guys make it seem like we did something wrong.