One minute, the two of you are inseparable; you go out to eat together, you swipe through Tinder together, you're hittin' the gym together for hot girl summer… and then:
Your best friend gets a boyfriend.
So now your best friend has a boyfriend, and you're left alone. It's happened to me quite a few times... so let me help you through your inevitable separation anxiety.
The beginning of a new relationship is BY FAR the worst. They’re still in their honeymoon phase; all flirty, blatantly ignoring all deal-breaking flaws and red flags.
Looking from the outside, it may make you want to hit your head against a wall.
Because now all she talks about is him and you know your hot girl summer is ruined. BUT, being the fantastic friend you are, you’re going to be supportive of the relationship, even if he may seem like a piece of sh*t.
(That would be a very unfortunate case)
So here are some tips on how to mourn the loss of a single best friend (and maybe even befriend their new boo).
Then they can set you up with their hot friends ;)
Tip #1 - Give Them Space and Don’t Take it Personally
At the beginning of a relationship, all the couple wants to do is be with one another. They are infatuated, obsessed; puppy dogs for one another. Or just horny from a dry spell… BUT STILL.
They are going to want to spend time alone together.
At this point, you’re going to have to sit back and bite your tongue - let the honeymoon phase run its course before you try to invest yourself in their relationship too much. It’s nothing personal; your best friend is still your best friend, but they’re going to need time to figure out how to balance their life and new relationship.
Give them time.
Tip #2 - Get To Know Them
After the honeymoon phase has played out, you’re going to want to get to know this person. Does he like sports? Is he in a frat? Is he secure enough in his masculinity to admit that Zac Efron is hot? - All the important questions that you need to ask him.
A healthy relationship is one where you’re dating your best friend; so now there are two of you. Your best friend is going to want you guys to be friendly if not friends because you are two of the most important people in her life.
So as a bestie, it is YOUR JOB to try to get along with their boyfriend.
Obviously don’t hang out alone together and go get ice cream or something...
that’s kinda weird.
I mean, unless you were friends beforehand, but that’s a different story. But a Snapchat streak is usually a safe bet and a good way to stalk him if ever needed.
The point is - make friends with them.
Tip #3 - Hang Out All Together
Since you two are her best friends, and yes, you have to accept she has another best friend, you’ll probably be hanging out together. This is why tip #2 is so important.
When you first start hanging out with them, it will be like your third-wheeling.
That’s just how it goes. But as their relationship develops and becomes more meaningful, that will change. Relationships are fun, yes, but...
a true best friend knows there is no replacement for you.
Usually what happens is, after a while, the boyfriend ends up third-wheeling with you guys on breakfast dates.
So be patient. Relationships always run their course, and the friendship of best friends always wins in the end.
Tip #4 - You’re Safe, Don’t Try To Steal
After you've reached the point where he is the one third-wheeling, you have to make sure you don't get too clingy or overbearing.
Don’t invite yourself on dates with them:
Read the room and see if it’s an occasion you can tag along to.
Don’t expect to sleep over at your best friend’s house every single night. Some nights will be reserved for dick appointments.
And you’ll probably want to wait a day or two so that she can wash the sheets after.
It can be really hard when your best friend, your ride or die, or, as I say, your “fucking whore” brings someone new into her life; because she’s bringing someone new into your life too.
The key is to always have an open mind. Of course, you’re not going to like them if you refuse to get to know them.
And always remember, what would you want your best friend to do if you got into a relationship? Whatever the answer is to that question… yeah, do that.
But no matter who comes and goes in her life, you’ll always be her constant, and remember...