Yes, No, Maybe

A checklist to determine whether or not you should meet-up with the person you've been talking to over Hinge, Bumble etc.

Photo : Unsplash

"How do I say yes to meeting up with someone in person after talking for a while on a dating app? I get so anxious..."

-Anonymous

When I'm deciding whether or not I want to meet someone, I do a mental checklist.

For your convenience, I've attached my thought process into two checklists. It may or may not be helpful, but these are things that I look for.

I yes say to meeting him IF he:

x/14 = score 1

I stay the hell home IF:

x/14 = score 2

Here is the scoring system that I made up:

SCORE 1

-Above 5 = consider it

-Above 7 = ideal

-Above 10 = marry him

SCORE 2

-More than 2... I probably wouldn't even match you...

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Even if you find your 'perfect match,' you might still be anxious to meet them, and that's okay.

Trust me, I feel that anxiety more than anyone I know, but at some point, you just have to say fuck it.

Back at the beginning of quarantine, I was allllll over Hinge. I kept matching with men to see who was out there. It was very casual, and conversations never lasted more than one day. But a month into my daily Hinge activities I matched with a man who checked every box... we would FaceTime every week, text every day, and I really enjoyed it.

After a few months of talking to him, June finally arrived. June aka the end quarantine. During one FaceTime call, he asked when he could take me out to dinner, but I curved him for weeks. Then finally, instead of avoiding him longer I lied and said I was back with my ex. FYI there was no ex... I only said that because I was too anxious to see him. It was just easier not to...

So no, I don't have great advice for this since I've turned away some great guys because of a little anxiety.

Although I always refer to my mental checklist, saying yes is still scary.

My life motto now: what do I have to lose?

Whenever I'm anxious about meeting someone new, I ask myself this question. 99% of the time the answer is nothing, and when that's the case I just force myself to try.

So here's my advice: say yes to things that will bring you joy, and see what happens.