Whoever chooses the pictures for Bluetooth needs to get out from the rock they live under, seriously.
While I’m jamming out in the car, I can’t help but laugh at the pictures that pop up on my dash. They are SOOOO outdated, and just plain odd. It might be my car. I drive a 2017 Toyota Rav 4. Yet these pictures seem much older than three years.
First, we have the genre pictures. I’m going to start off with my personal favorite:
Are we that old that APESHIT is considered classical? Don’t get me wrong, it is a classic. Maybe that is what they meant by putting it in this category? This just makes me laugh. When I think “classical,” it takes me back to the God awful Music Appreciation class I had to take once a week in middle school. If only I was born a few years later, I could have been appreciating Beyoncé`` and JayZ and this classical symphony.
Next, we have “Urban.” Why do I feel like this was written by Danny Tanner? It is 2020. Rap is arguably the most popular genre of music today. The fact that it is not even a category in the car is just sad. Also, the two girls in the photo for it do not strike me as rappers. Bluetooth has definitely got to update this.
Okay, next we have “Roots.” I wish I was kidding. The girl in the pictures looks like she is so uncomfortable. I don’t play, but I definitely think she is holding the guitar wrong. When I hear “Roots,” I think of trees and gardening. Lowkey, Groot from Guardians Of The Galaxy pops in my head too. Music is the last thing I would think of. These roots definitely need to spread.
Something arguably worse than the category pictures, are the pictures for artists. They are so outdated. All of the pictures are AT LEAST 10 years old.
Justin Bieber has not looked like this in a loonnnnggggg time. He looks like an actual BABY (pun totally not intended ;) ) here. C’mon Bluetooth. His hair has changed so many times since this. He is a married adult man now. If Justin ever saw this, he would probably say, “What do you mean?” His smiling mugshot would have been a better option than this.
This picture KILLS me. What the hell is she doing? This literally doesn't even look like Nicki Minaj.This looks like the live action casting of Emma Stone’s character from The Croods films. So much is happening here. All I have to say is, SOUND THE ALARM for a new picture.
Next we have Cat Valentine. Oh excuse me, I mean Ariana Grande. Ariana Grande has become one of the biggest names in music since this era. WHY can’t we update her picture? Her instagram is full of options. Does anyone really want to be reminded of Sam and Cat? No. We need a picture with her signature high ponytail. Thank U, Next Bitch.
Here we have two of the biggest and most influential male rappers of all time looking like they are cheesing for fifth grade picture day.
Turn Up The Lights In Here, Baby. Extra Bright, I want y’all to see this. Is this a joke? Look at Kanye’s shirt. I think I have something similar from Justice back in the day. They really couldn’t find any images that were better, faster, or dare I say, stronger? Drake looks like God’s Plan of puberty hasn’t even hit him yet. Imma let you finish but Bluetooth has the worst image library of all time.
Lastly, I had to show you what they have for QUEEN B:
Nothing. Yup, you’re seeing this right. THEY HAVE NOTHING FOR BEYONCÉ. They might as well take everything they own in a box to the left. Not having a picture for BEYONCÉ just proves how outdated and uncultured the image library of Bluetooth Audio is.
If anyone at Bluetooth reads this, PLEASE do yourselves a favor, join instagram and stay woke (I don’t even want to know but I assume Childish Gambino’s picture is actually from his childhood).