Ever wonder what your drink of choice says about your studying habits? Probably not, but I’m going to tell you anyways.
This is probably your first time opening a book in months. You have to cram several weeks of notes and bullshit discussion responses into one night; it should be impossible and you know it.
What’s going to settle your nerves? A Bud Light that has been hidden in the back of the fridge since the beginning of the semester, of course.
You think you can ingest $50 worth of tequila at the bar on Saturday and wake up in good enough shape to study on Sunday.
Wrong. You’re just not studying.
You’ve been studying for the last two weeks and probably answered every single question the professor had over Zoom.
Is a glass of red wine necessary while you look over your notes on a Sunday night? No, but you know you look boujee and that you’re slightly better than your hard seltzer drinking peers.
Not a whole lot of studying to do since you’re probably in high school.
If you’re of age drinking this there will not be a single book cracked or note taken. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.
Source: Conservative Memes
Whiskey/Rum/Scotch (anything your dad would drink over ice in a recliner)
If you’re drinking this straight, “on the rocks,” in one of the fancy, stocky, little glasses, you’re probably a graduate student. You paid to go to more school so you know you’ll study, just got to take a few sips to loosen up.
This is a tough one because there are two types of White Claw drinkers. Some drink them for a refreshing and relaxing swig. Others use this to fast track a black out.
You’ll try to study, but chances are you’ll head over to the gas station for a 12-pack of white claws, forget about studying, and count on the few notes you have to get you through your online test.
Champagne/Mimosas/Bloody Mary/Any drink appropriate for brunch
These options sound like a harmless way to cure your hangover and begin a productive Sunday of studying. Sounds great, but we both know you’ll end up with way too strong of a buzz by 1 P.M., drunk by 2 P.M., and dealing with another hangover at 9 P.M.
It’s going to be a struggle to open up your notes, but you’ll be good. After all, you’re a brunch-goer, which puts you on a level of class, sophistication, and genius above all other college students. Or you’re just an alcoholic. Nonetheless, you’ll do alright on your test.
Rum and coke, vodka and cranberry, vodka and sprite, Long Island iced tea, etc. - these are the staples of a destination drinker. Lots of liquor, not too strong of a sting, and it only takes a few to get drunk.
Perfect for the bar on Friday (even though they’re going to rip you off with the price) and terrible for the next morning.
Despite the odds, you’ll study because you’re smart. Just like with your drinking habits, you know what must be done and you do it efficiently.
Honorable mention: Weed
No hangover and good sleep. You should be able to study… right?
You’ll try with the intention of doing the right thing, but after 20 minutes of zoning out in front of your notes you’ll head over to the bong to “clear your head.” Now you’re scrolling through Tik Tok laughing your ass off for an hour before you get tired. Time for another rip.
This cycle will most likely repeat until you pass out in bed.