What To Do Before the Semester Starts, From a Lazy College Student

Whether you’re heading to campus this semester or braving the storm of remote learning, now is the time to get your shit together.

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Winter break is winding down and classes are starting up soon. After weeks of dragging your ass around your parents’ house and sleeping for 12 hours a day, it can be difficult to get back in the swing of things.

So, I’ll give you a few tips right now before they come in the form of a long paragraph from your mother. And also some things she wouldn’t tell you.

Buy your books and actually look at your schedule

This sounds simple until you wake up hungover on a Monday at noon only to realize you missed your 10:15 A.M. class. And we both know there is no such thing as a “syllabus week.” It is a syllabus day and then it’s full speed ahead.

So, you’re going to need those books. Do yourself a favor and take the 30 minutes out of your life over break. Future you will be glad.

If you haven’t been, start drinking

This is what your parents won’t tell you, but it’s necessary. You don’t want to be 75% of the way towards a blackout at 9 P.M. on the first night back.

Start sipping on your drink of choice at night. I’m not saying you have to take shots, but I’m also not telling you not to. Each semester is a marathon, so stretch out a little before you take off.

Wake up to an alarm once or twice

Trust me, even if it’s set for 1 p.m., get used to that abrupt wake up. You don’t have to do it everyday, just a day or two before classes start. It’s still going to suck on that first day, but it won’t be as terrible.

Revamp your Tinder account

Update those pictures, fix your lame bio, and find a few pickup lines to keep in your back pocket. Stay on top of your Tinder game now so you can let those swipes loose when you’re in a drunken stumble on your way home from the bar.

Save some money

This is a tough one to do, or even to think about. I didn’t really follow my own advice with this one, but I’m telling you to do this because I am just selfless like that.

Stop eating out, ordering shit on Amazon, and maybe lay off the weed a little (not required). Just be smarter with your money right now so you have more to be dumb with during the semester.

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Obviously this upcoming semester still won’t be the normal semester we are used to. But, fingers crossed, it will be better than last semester.

For the time being the name of the game now is preparation. You want to do your busy work now so you can enjoy the start of your semester. These are just a few suggestions. Really though, just do whatever you have to do to get ready for a good semester.