What If You Don’t Speak One of the Big Five Love Languages?

Bullying. Memes. "The Jim Look.” What do these all have in common? Each are different ways you show your partner how much you love them.


(Image from Fashion Nova)


Have you heard of the five basic love languages? Defined in a 1992 book by Gary Chapman, love languages are basically ways that you express and experience love in a relationship. Now, originally, Chapman pinned it down to these main five languages.


(Image from mbgrelationships)


However, after almost thirty years, a lot of people believe that there are more than just those five. (Also, some have even debunked these five languages, claiming they’re too simplified.)


Think about all the different ways you communicate with a person in a relationship. It’s hard to box every form of love and affection into these five categories, isn’t it? If you don’t feel like you fit into Chapman’s selective model, that’s totally normal.

Below is a list of a few extra love languages that you may speak.


Bullying

(Although this may sound toxic, I promise it’s not.)


Have you ever been in a relationship/situationship where a majority of conversation is spent just absolutely shitting on your partner? But, like, in a sexy way?

Sometimes certain relationships thrive off of harsh sarcasm and witty digs. However, it’s important that you’re both aware it’s all in good fun. You’re not actually making fun of your partner’s failed test grade, but you might make fun of the way they sleep (like Count Dracula) or the way they pronounce “pen” (like “pin”). This form of love-bullying is more akin to cheeky banter. It can build up playful tension, which can then be saved for later—if you know what I mean.


Memes/Tik Tok

(Image from Sproutsocial)

Sometimes a little meme is all a person needs. Who doesn’t like to laugh? Sending each other memes back and forth is a way to express that you’re thinking of your significant other. Plus, you’ll probably form little inside jokes that will only make your bond stronger.


Sharing Clothes

Who doesn’t love borrowing a hoodie or two from their significant other? Although it can be a risky game (because you may never get your clothes back), it’s another way you can express and experience love. When you put on your partner’s sweatpants, you can’t help but think of them. And letting your partner borrow your t-shirt is just a feeling you can’t describe, ya know? For some reason, they always look better in it. (Jo and Laurie, anyone?)


"The Jim Look” (aka Nonverbal Communication)

(GIF from Pinterest)


If you’ve seen Jim from The Office, you know exactly what I’m talking about: “The Jim Look.” Basically, something triggers you to break the fourth wall and silently stare at your partner. This look ain’t just regular eye contact. Oh no, this stare seamlessly captures your reaction to whatever craziness is surrounding you. The best part is your partner understands the swirl of emotions you’re expressing. They’re picking up exactly what you’re putting down. This love language expresses how you feel without saying a word.


Food

With this love language, your partner knows the way to your heart is to drive through it (see what I did there?). Whether it’s cooking meals together or hitting up Chilis, food is the way that your partner shows they care. If they don’t show up at your dorm with snacks from time to time, do they even love you?


Accents

This is when you and your partner speak a different language, literally. I’m not talking about mushy baby talk. I mean when the two of you have invented a weird accent that’s a mix between a Southern grandpa and Borat. There’s no controlling it, either. You may be asking them what they want to watch on Netflix and—BAM—you just start speaking like you’re a contestant on The Great British Baking Show. The best part is, only you and your significant other can speak and understand this strange love dialect. Although it may sound like gibberish to the rest of the world, it means something between you and them.

 

Get to know the way your partner shows love. If you know your partner feels loved when you send them Berries and Cream Tik Toks, flood their DMs. If you love tossing sarcastic digs at your partner, let them know insults mean you care. If your partner randomly talks like Stewie Griffin, it could be their way of expressing yjz comfortable around you. Recognizing the ways you and your partner give and receive love will only make your relationship stronger. Once you learn what love languages your partner speaks, you’ll truly understand them.