The Guide To Answering Booty Calls

There are two options. You're awake or you pretend to be asleep.
















Photo by Katie Buckleitner


It’s been a long night of drinking, but you’re proud of your accomplishments. You've bravely battled six tequila shots, while crushing any white claw in your way. A few friends fell victim to the pregame, but nevertheless, you persisted. Despite pulling trig and making uncomfy awkward small talk with your Uber driver, you survived. More importantly, you accomplished the toughest feat of all… successfully making it home to your own bed.


As your drunk ass polishes off nuggets from the Merritt Canteen, while aimlessly scrolling through TikTok, something flashes across your screen. A message. Its content sends a wave of emotions through your body. Excitement. Cringe. Anxiety. Confusion. At approximately 3:24am you see...






Ah yes. The infamous booty call. A late-night summons that arrives while you start to decline from your drunken state. This request can be attributed to a previous arrangement, or it could just be an arbitrary message invoked by drunkenness. Regardless of the reasoning, the invitation solicits one thing and one thing only.

A hookup.

Some love the booty call. Some hate the booty call. Yet, most don’t know how to respond to this "romantic" gesture. Thankfully, below are tips and examples you can use the next time you find yourself in the midst of a booty call crisis.

There are two ways to handle the infamous booty call:


1. Don't.

The key to this technique resides in your ability to ignore. In order to be successful with this approach, you must completely neglect the message's existence. For some, this may be easy. But for most, this is a challenge. If you find it difficult to not respond, reflect upon the intentions of the message and how the message makes you feel. Then decide on your next course of action. The following methods are just a few ways to send that booty call to voicemail:

  1. Never reply and leave them on read for the rest of eternity.

  2. If you feel like acknowledging the booty call, in the morning say you fell asleep. Ex. "Sorry I missed your booty call I fell asleep." (Feel free to bring your own creativity into this response, really make it your own)

  3. Ignore the booty call entirely and continue on with normal texting.

  • In the morning, completely disregard the message and continue with casual conversation.

  • Text when you feel like it (this could be days, weeks, or months later).

  • Let the sender reflect upon their actions and wait until they text you.

2. Answer

Before answering, you should probably have a concrete idea of what you would like to do. Remember, the only intention of a booty call is to initiate a hookup. That's it. With this in mind, you must decide whether to accept or decline the invitation.


If you WOULD like to pursue the booty call, here are a few guidelines:

  1. Stick to business. The sole purpose of a booty call is to hookup, don't forget it.

  2. Respond promptly so you can schedule the booty call hookup ASAP. Time is precious, especially at 3am.

  3. Figure out the logistics. Whose house? How are you getting there? Are you staying over? Will there be snacks?

  4. Pursue the hookup.

If you WOULD NOT like to pursue the booty call, here is how you answer.


*Keep in mind most booty calls are circumstantial. They require unique and individualistic responses. The steps below are designed to assist you in creating the perfect answer to your next booty call

  1. Categorize the type of booty call. *Types of booty calls- funny, thirsty, blunt, rude, creative, bland, genuine, random.

  2. Reflect on how the message makes you feel. Be honest with yourself...Did it make you feel bad or uncomfortable? Did it make you feel like a queen or king? Did you get that cringy feeling?

  3. Recognize your feelings and formulate your response accordingly.

  4. Consult with a friend. Sometimes you just need a little extra help. What else are friends for?

  5. Respond. Since every booty call is unique, your response is subjective. However, here are a few things you can incorporate into every booty call answer: sass, wit, honesty, humor, creativity, sarcasm, profanities, GIFs (a solid go-to), voice memos, poetry. Don't be afraid to get creative with it!

  6. Hold strong to your response. Often times the sender of the booty call will try to persist, despite your rejection. Do not let their manipulation, guilt, or insults sway your response. Stay strong.

Examples

The following images are legitimate booty calls. Examine each thread carefully. How would you respond to these messages ?












*Somf: Sit on my face







































Although you will truly never know what or when a late-night drunken summons will strike, there is one thing you can feel better about. And that's on how to answer the infamous booty call.


Disclaimer

The information provided within this article is for general purposes only. This article is not responsible for any ghosting that may occur. Consult a booty call professional for specific advice relating to your situation.

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