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Hooking Up With Tall Guys - Letters to Dude

An anonymous frat boy attempts to help young people navigate modern love.

I've been seeing a guy for a couple weeks, and everything was fine, but lately I've started to realize I only liked him cause he was tall. He recently invited me to meet his family, and I can't find a good way to break up with him. What should I do?

Hold up–you just went out with him because he was tall? Wow, if that's all it takes for girls to go out with a boring guy then I must be pretty fucking ugly.

First of all, don't feel bad for breaking up with him. If this guy fit your height fetish, but has the personality of a tree, then you have the right to dump him.

Even if you don't exactly hate the guy, meeting the parentals is a big step, and I'd recommend you dump him before that. It's easier to not feel guilty if you don't put a face to his mom–believe me. Although, girl you gotta meet the guys you start dating a little bit better.

Where've you been during these past few weeks besides getting neck pain from looking up?

It's totally valid to have a type of guy, but if it prevents you from separating the strong and sexy bamboos from the common pines then you need to reassess.

I'd suggest this: think about the second, most attractive thing you often find in a guy, and make sure the person you are dating meets both height and this.

Let's say you meet a tall guy at a party with a wicked good sense of humor, then jackpot. But if you meet a 6'4" man with 2010 memes, then walk away.

Besides, if this guy is introducing you to his parents after a few weeks of going out–which in college is like, five minutes–then he's a bit obsessive.

Parents should be the last thing someone knows about you and your life. They even come after the person who you're dating discovers that you snore, or that your first email handle from when you were twelve involved horses.

Now, for the dumping, I'd suggest something soft, but quick. No shooting the shit. Just get to the point. Something like:

Listen, you're mad tall but fall short in everything else. Bye.

Make sure you get with a taller, more personable guy ASAP or he'll try to get back to you through a late night DM. Believe me, it takes an asshole to know one.

Good luck,

Dude B.


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