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How to Survive Moving Back Home for the Holidays

Leave the condoms and bongs, and bring the load of laundry because it’s time to move back home with your parents for the holiday break.

Living away at college comes with many freedoms; going out whenever you want, staying up until whatever hour of the night and sleeping in as long as you want the next day. But as November rolls around the party comes to an end and it’s time to move back to our childhood homes while colleges are off for the month.

Here are some ways to prepare for the month-long move back home:

Leave all drugs and sexual paraphernalia at school.

  • You may be used to lighting up whenever you please or having 2 A.M. booty calls come through but as you move back home with your parents these are not things you want your mom to find while she’s cleaning your room. It’ll also help you avoid going back to getting with your high school hookup that you should’ve been left back in the glory days.

You clean up after yourself at school so try and remember to at home.

  • This might feel like a month's vacation from doing chores but as much as it annoys you when your roommate leaves their dirty dishes in the sink, your mom feels the same way about you when you do it. Remember all the shit that pisses you off about your sloppy roommate and try not to be that person in your parents home.

Enjoy not having to cook for yourself or eat dining hall food.

  • All those times you have to think about what to make for yourself or end up ordering Chipotle because you’re too lazy to cook. Or when you question if the chicken you’re eating from the dining hall is pink inside or if it's some special sauce is now avoided for a month. You get a home cooked meal every night of the week and don’t have to worry about what to eat or if it’s edible.

Receiving stares from your parents when you crack open your third white claw before noon.

  • You may have to reassure your parents numerous times over the course of the month that you are in fact not an alcoholic. On the bright side living with your parents means you don’t have to worry about spending money on alcohol and on top of that the cost of an Uber because you are just drinking your sorrows away in your childhood bedroom.

College may seem like a free for all but having their children back home is what parents live for. They do mean well and although the lavish lifestyle of sleeping until 4 P.M. won’t fly, enjoy a warm home cooked meal that will always be on the table and laundry folded on the bed. Remember they are doing their best and it’s only for a month. The bong will be waiting for you in the spot where you left it when you return back to college.


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