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Some People Have Swords, I Have Bookmarks

Here’s to the unexpected hope helping me survive during a pandemic.

Trigger Warning: Thoughts of suicide are mentioned, as well as personal triggers associated with it. They are not shared in excess, but are mentioned for a few moments. Please assess how this may impact your mental health before proceeding.

It was the Spring Break we never came back from

At first, I was fine.

No seriously, I was.

College life was stressing me out and I needed those extra days off.

Then those few days became more, more became weeks, weeks became months, until fine was a word that was foriegn to me.

I won’t pretend I haven’t seen the videos and posts online. People talked about staying positive and taking care of your mental health, but it was hard finding information regarding those who’d dealt with a mental illness pre-covid. I’m not saying it didn’t exist, but too often I had to go searching for it.

You might be wondering why that small difference is so important. “Mental health is mental health, Draco. We all went through something and it took its toll on us too.”

I’m not saying people weren’t affected, and I’m not saying it wasn’t a mental strain on all of us. I’m saying there’s a difference.

For many, it was just about staying a float. Finding new ways to band together through the mutual strain of quarantine.

For the rest of us, it was hell on earth.

Everyone of my coping mechanisms went out the door. Every safe outlet I had for my de