Are your feelings toward porn undefined, uncommitted, or based on convenience?
If so, you have found yourself in a situationship with porn... Have no fear, you're definitely not alone. Below are tips on how to embrace your hazy situationship with pornography.
(Image from Unsplash)
With life comes changes. Birthdays. Graduations. Love. Heartbreak. Despite the lapsing time, there is one thing you could always depend on.
Porn.
For most of us, since the dawn of puberty, porn has been a constant in our life. After a long day's work or a lonely Saturday night, you know it's there for you.
Patiently waiting.
It's something you can always rely on (as long as your wifi is strong). Porn will never leave you on "Read" at 2:34am. It'll never criticize your socks and sandals. Or ignore your Venmo request for that $40 Uber back to your apartment...
Despite the universality of virtual erotica, most people are afraid to admit their eyes have witnessed such explicit content. Porn can a topic that most try to shy away from. But why? What's the harm in watching an adult movie here and there?
Pretty much everyone watches porn.
Pretty much everyone has sex.
So any stimaga around porn pretty much makes no sense.
*also it's totally okay if you don't watch it. Do whatever makes you comfortable and happy in life!
Sexual desire is a natural human instinct. It's okay to embrace your innate urges! And let's face it, porn is one of the simplest methods of scratching that itch.
With any relationship, there are pros and cons. Here are some things to remember when navigating your situationship with porn.
(Saturday Night Live)
The Pros
When it comes to porn there's a surplus of positives. For instance:
Entertainment: After all, it can be just a passing time. It's just like watching youtube videos, except people are butt-ass naked and doing some colorful shit. The entertainment factor is a 10. I mean you can look at the response that a film like Fifty Shades of Grey (2011) had. People basically paid the price of admission to watch a soft porno.
Self-Care: Obviously porn provides a need to help satisfy the visual mind. When you’re ‘taking care’ of yourself, having something to help stimulate your mind, is always helpful. It’s natural and when utilized appropriately, promotes a healthy sexual life.
Improved Sex Drive: Crazy enough, the mix of constant self-maintenance and hormone bursts, can also improve one’s sex drive. According to this Behavioral Science article, the anxiety that is accompanied with consuming porn, is part of the stimulation, “Anxiety, which has been shown to increase sexual arousal, may also accompany Internet pornography use. In short, Internet pornography offers all of these qualities, which register as salient, stimulate dopamine bursts, and enhance sexual arousal.” So, there’s some benefit for when you no longer ‘by yourself.’
(GIF from Mondonet)
Keep in mind there are some cons.
Although porn serves its purpose, it is important to be aware of the negatives that come with it. Just like any relationship, too much of something is never a good thing.
Unrealistic Expectations: Porn is just like every other media; it creates unrealistic expectations and pressures. Those who watch it may feel pressured to repeat what they see in their own bedroom. But remember, pornography is an industry with actors. It's not always real life. This distortion of reality may put pressure on you to act a certain way. People allow what they see these professionals do to affect them and assume that it is normal. Especially for a younger mind who has little experience, it can create a precedent that cannot truly be matched.
Desensitization: Not to be too corny, but sex is great! It’s fun and pleasurable. Unfortunately, when consuming too much porn, it does take away from the "wow" factor. With the variety and expansiveness of porn, some people can find themselves not being able to be satisfied with ‘regular’ sex. They’re so used to all the stuff they see that real life is just a letdown.
Creating Insecurities: Now, just like celebrities, porn stars and models are of a different class. They are some very attractive human beings. On top of that, some of their physical features to say are not something that you are going to see too often. Porn can create a poor body image, especially when you can’t realize that these aren’t your everyday people. With that, people tend to compare themselves to these models and find themselves competing with a standard that is for most people, not even in the same league. Your body is designed how it’s supposed to be, and at the end of the day it is always going to be enough.
Now, remember...
There are two sides to every coin and when it comes to porn it kind of levels out. Just knowing how to maintain the balance is up to you. At the end of the day, consuming porn like anything else is better when you can use it appropriately and moderately. Too much of anything is not good. So, enjoy your awkward situationship with porn and take it for what it is!