A discussion on whether or not you should make a move on a friend you're physically / sexually attracted to.
Lay down, close your eyes, and picture your friend group.
Now take a moment, and really think about my next question: how do you / should you keep a friendship platonic with someone you're sexually attracted to?
First of all, I honestly believe most people have at least one friend that they're sexually attracted to. Maybe it's just a passing thought deep in the back of your head, or maybe it's a feeling you get when they look at you and your stomach flutters. Regardless, I think a lot of people can relate to this feeling, myself included. Soo I really think it's hard to remain platonic in that situation, but more on my opinion later.
This question is brought to us by the infamous Sophie Hale (teammate / best friend / girl whose brother I dated in high school LOL) and we discussed this topic for our entire three-hour work shift.
Which brings us to the experiment:
I asked 32 men and women to give me their opinion on the previously stated question, and what to do when you're sexually attracted to your friend.
For your viewing pleasure, I have broken up the responses into three categories-
1. The Guarded Ones
First, these are the people who believe that it's a bad idea to vocalize those feelings because somebody will get hurt. Some of these responses may be coming from past experiences. Perhaps people who have been hurt before, and are now overly cautious with their love life.
I appreciate the fact that it's hard to express feelings like that when a friendship is on the line. For some people, like the ones above, it won't be worth taking the risk. Others would feel differently. I couldn't possibly generalize on this topic because it will come down to each person and what they feel is 'right.'
So yes, I really really do agree with these points, and there is a HUGE chance someone could get hurt. But all I can do is speak to my opinion- and I think not trying at all is more painful then wondering what could've been, and worse than the hypothetical pain...
2. The Optimists
Next, I compiled the messages from people who thought it would be okay to pursue. I imagine these are the people who love love. More specifically, these are the people I would think love being in relationships and watching a lot of rom-coms.
I REALLY felt the bottom right response...
"Honestly, life is too short to wait. You want it. Do it" - D.L.
Of course, you could end up making a move on someone who actually has no romantic or sexual interest in you, then the friendship becomes awkward. But it's a risk like anything else in life. Also, consider the vibe they're giving you.
Is there even the slightest chance the feelings are mutual?
If this pandemic has taught me anything it's that life really is too short so we should take control of what we can. This means if you feel some type of way towards one of your friends, tell them!! I'm not talking about a one night stand- I mean actual attraction and genuine feelings.
3. The Realists
Lastly, these opinions are from the people who think it would be a terrible idea. I imagine they are the logical, clear-headed people who wouldn't put the potential of love over any friendship.
This doesn't just have to be about sex... I mean what if you tell your friend how you're feeling and you start dating? Like maybeee they've been holding onto the same feelings as you this whole time. I know I sound like the Optimistic #2, but it's hard not to consider.
Overall, yes I think you should always speak your mind.
If you want something, like truly know you want it, then make it happen. Sure, it might be messy and it might not work out, but what if it's not? What if it works out?
It's also OKAY to be sexually attracted to friends. Definitely value that person, but don't rule out the possibility of being more.