“Do you ever feel like you are too mentally ill to date someone who has their shit together?” Because we do.
Picture this: I am scrolling through Tik Tok and I come across a video that starts with the words
“Do you ever feel like you are too mentally ill to date someone who has their shit together?”
The answer: Yes. Absolutely. And I keep watching the video of a user named Olivia Klugman singing a song called “Precooked Rice”. I immediately resonated and became obsessed with the song, and the idea that someone else felt the same way I felt: that they were too mentally ill and their brain too bad to be in a relationship with someone they really love.
I saw this video about two weeks after I went to my boyfriend-with-a-real-job’s work party and proceeded to have a panic attack and lay in the grass and not hang out with his friends. After I backed out into his car because I got distracted thinking I left the oven on and after I almost got us into a car accident because I was panicking because I convinced myself he was going to break up with me (he wasn’t).
After I had broken down and spent the money on pre-cooked rice and vegetables that I couldn’t microwave because I didn’t even have the energy to cook anymore. And honestly, I’d been hating myself for it.
Then I heard the song,