My Love-Hate Relationship with Meditation: Why I Meditate


I decided to give myself a second chance, and that’s when I really came to love meditation.



lalililac on Instagram

“Meditation isn’t for me,” I’ve always said. Maybe this thought is familiar to some of you, too.

I have a feeling that meditation either gets people totally engaged or totally against it.

Some people I know meditate daily, always finding a moment to close their eyes and let go of their anxieties, stressors, fears. For the majority of people, though, there seems to be a common line of thought:

“Why on Earth should I sit or lay still doing nothing? I have so much to do!”

Clearly, when I was following that way of thinking, I didn’t know what meditation was.

I came to realize that meditation is a wonderful way to calm down and relax. It’s like switching off your connection to the hectic world and taking a moment to simply be.

That “doing nothing” is worth much more than you think, as it means reconnecting with yourself.

Why is meditation so important?

I didn’t realize how stressed I was until I closed my eyes, focused on my breath, and felt more relaxed than I’d been in months.

Most of us work, study or are caught in some routine on autopilot. We don't think consciously about what we’re doing because we’ve done that activity over and over again. You might think it’s not bad to do something without thinking about it, but what effects does this routine have on you?

It can be potentially dangerous because you get so used to doing the same thing every day that you aren’t mindful at all.

You are simply not present in the moment. This can lead to stress and, if untreated, burnout.

Personally, I realized I needed a break when I first got panic attacks. That was the way my body told me, “Stop and relax for a moment.”

(I’m not saying you’ll get a panic attack. But don’t underestimate stress!)

In my opinion, meditation is worth a try. It’s totally fine if you realize it’s not your thing, but you could feel as relaxed as in a spa with the right style!


yoga on Instagram

Before loving meditation, I had to hate it.

I have tried several yoga courses, some of which included meditation. Sadly, multiple things went wrong. One of the courses was simply too advanced for me, and I remember struggling to put my legs in some uncomfortable position.

Another course started right, but I got very much bothered by some other people in the room who fell asleep during meditation (it can happen, and it’s totally fine) and ended up snoring out loud.

After these two experiences, I asked myself: “Why should I keep trying?”

I realized that, since you never know who you might meditate with, chances are you could be bothered by noises….

So I took a break from trying out meditation, but neither my stress nor my insomnia wanted to leave.


From hate to love

I decided to give myself a second chance, and that’s when I really came to love meditation.

One day, as I was watching a conversation between Oprah and Deepak Chopra (author, alternative medicine advocate, and meditation expert), I realized that I had to try it again.

Why hadn’t I thought about YouTube videos before? This platform seemed to be what I was looking for: a tailored meditation with lots of variety. Thanks to YouTube, I could try out meditation for different purposes, guided and not.

It was thanks to this second chance that I managed to overcome what I believe is the biggest obstacle when it comes to meditation: dealing with our thoughts.

It’s totally normal to have so many thoughts running through your mind when you have the chance to be still. They will always try to draw your attention to them, but remember that thoughts are just thoughts. Don’t get discouraged by simply putting your attention on your breath. Especially at the beginning, it’s normal to find yourself between focus and distraction.

With time, I found some speakers I could rely on. Now, when I feel anxious, sad, or I have insomnia, I simply listen to my favorite speakers.

To me, solo guided meditation is the best approach. It took multiple attempts and the belief that eventually, I would find what was right for me.

Some speakers have meditation channels and offer 3-minute and 1-hour meditations, so the chances you’ll find what’s right for you are much higher. I couldn’t recommend YouTube meditation enough!

What really helped me was finding alternative ways to meditate. So before giving up, ask yourself it isn’t worth trying again!