Matched: How to Go from Small Talk to Medium Talk to Date Night Out?

Starting and keeping a conversation can be the hardest parts of being on dating apps. Not to mention the anxiety you get when the convo actually starts going well. Don’t worry, we can help.

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So, you’ve finally created a dating app profile whether it be on Hinge, Bumble, or Tinder, or all three (Check out my last article for tips on how to create a more attractive dating app profile). And you’ve been swiping left and right like it’s nobody’s business. But then, just like that, you match with someone and now you have to figure out what to say to them or how to respond to their text.


Starting a conversation with a stranger over an app can often feel unnatural and most of us rely on small talk to start the convo. This usually involves a witty or flirty response our friends helped us come up with in response to a prompt on someone’s profile. And while not all small talk is bad, it often doesn’t lead anywhere and you find yourself disinterested in the conversation.


The best way to move from small talk to medium talk is to ask good questions.


When you ask good questions, you are more likely to get an authentic response. A few examples of questions to ask someone you matched with are:

  • What are you most interested in at the moment?

  • If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go and why?

  • Is there something new you want to learn this year?

Once a conversation begins to flow and you start to get a sense of someone’s personality, it becomes much more interesting and exciting. But if you’re anything like me, this is when you start to get nervous and immediately want to bail out. I’m here to tell you can’t let your anxiety about the potential of medium talk progressing to an actual date deter you from keeping the conversation going.


For most of us, meeting new people in general can be anxiety inducing, and meeting someone you connected with on a dating app adds even more pressure. But the reality is, most of this fear is just built up in our heads and there is really only one way to overcome these nerves.


When in doubt, ask them to grab coffee or a drink, and just see how it goes.


Don’t forget being nervous is a part of the experience, and the person you are going on a date with is probably in the same exact boat as you. Whether you are going on your first date ever or just your first one in a while, you got this! And don’t forget to have a little fun. You never know what can happen we you decided to go a little out of your comfort zone.