Having a 24/7 therapist is great...until it’s not.
My mom became a therapist in the peak of my teenhood. She was able to help me work through my anxiety, pain, and other issues. We often found ourselves in the kitchen at 4:30 am having a nice therapy session before she left for work. People always tell me how amazing it must be to live with a mental health professional, and it is. But it's not always rainbows and butterflies.
We struggled to find balance
Ever heard of work-life balance? Well, in this case, it was therapist-mom balance.
When I was dealing with stress related to friends, school, or boys, sometimes I didn’t want a therapist to tell me the logistics of a situation. I wanted her to hug me and say, “Everything is going to be okay Soph,” not “What steps can you take to change this situation?”
This caused a few problems in our relationship.
Sometimes it isn’t about being rational, sometimes I just want to know she has my back, even if I’m wrong. I wanted my mom to BE MY MOM.
I decided we needed to come up with a solution to this problem, especially since it was causing frustration on both sides. Yes, this was taking a toll on me, but my mom was annoyed when I could not understand the point she was trying to get across.
I didn’t want her to stop giving me her professional opinion, but I also wanted her to support me as her child.
To fix this, I began starting conversations with, “Okay I need you to be my mom right now not my therapist,” or vice versa.