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Let’s Talk About Sex: 2020 Edition

A discussion on the double standard that women deal with when it comes to sex.

Photo from Unsplashed
Guess what? Women enjoy casual sex too.

Yes, we can have sex without falling in love, and no, you're probably not the best we've ever had.

To the men reading this right now, I'm sorry if that's surprising to hear.

Somehow we're in a society that shames women who do the exact same thing that men do. Men are expected to have sex, but as women we are expected to conduct ourselves more ‘properly’. And what's the only difference? Whether or not you have a dick.

Women are supposed to behave a certain type of way. Take clothing, for example. If we show too much skin, we're 'hoes,' and if we don't show enough, we're prudes. Think about women who post bikini pics on Instagram. While some might think it's about getting attention, did you ever consider the possibility that it was really about self-love and body positivity?

But why is there any difference? Why does it matter what we post or how often we have sex?

Nasty. Whore. Easy. Tramp. Hoe. Thot. Skank. Slut.

What have you been called?

Those words are thrown around too carelessly. Like come on, don't call a woman a slut just because she rejected you when you slid into her DMs. So she chose your friend over you. Oh well. Move on.

“The male ego is such a fragile little thing, and that is why some men reject and criticize women who have strong confidence in their own sexuality, and these men, of course, have zero functioning brain cells.” -boy

For the record, I know men have feelings too, and I'm not trying to ignore that.

This is simply about the fact that women who are confident with their sexuality are often shamed or ridiculed in society, but they shouldn't be.

Think about this: if I chose to have a ton of sex, then people would talk about me, but if my guy friend did the same thing he would get hyped up. It makes no sense.

Photo from Unsplashed
Now what about that ‘magic’ number???

Whenever people talk about sex, it’s always tied to a number. Body count.

When you start talking to someone new it’s like:

1. Where’d you grow up?

2. What’s your favorite color?

3. How many people have you fucked?

Okay, not literally, but you know what I mean.

I’m going to share a little secret with everyone- a person’s body count is irrelevant! One number doesn’t determine whether or not someone is datable. The problem is that so many people think it does. It's absolutely ridiculous. As women, we shouldn't feel like we have to lie about our pasts because our number is ‘too high’. And it's honestly a problem that so many feel that pressure to lie. Who determines that anyway? Oh yeah, society.

How many times has a man felt the need to lie about his body count because he was worried about being judged?


Photo from Unsplashed

Why is there a double standard on this??

It’s mind blowing because I know so many guys who have 30+ bodies and it’s no big deal, but a woman with more than 7 is considered outrageous.

Whether you’re a virgin, love sex, or fall anywhere in between, who the fuck cares? The number of times someone has had sex doesn’t make them a good or bad person.

Breaking News: if she had sex with your friend two years ago that doesn’t mean you can’t date her now. And if he had sex with your roommate freshman year that doesn’t make him an asshole.

Real quotes from real people- made by yours truly

When are we going to reach the point where women can act how men do, without being unnecessarily judged?

In a perfect world, I could say, let’s reject this double standard, and poof, it would be gone. But I know my opinion doesn’t change a thing. At the very least, I hope my questions have shed light onto a different perspective.

Just do me a favor, the next time you hear somebody talk about who they hooked up with over the weekend, don’t look at your friend and call her a name. She’s not ‘for the streets.' She just loves herself enough to do what she wants in a society that tries so hard to shame her.


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