If Gossip Girl Characters Went to Public Universities

Oct 7, 2020

We all know and love the iconic CW series, Gossip Girl. Where we are given a look into the lives of Manhattan's elitist Upper East Siders.

I used to envy the lives of these fictional characters, and wished that I attended the same exclusive parties, dressed in extravagant fifth avenue clothes, and Sunday brunched in the city. The four privileged Upper East Siders, and two Brooklyn wannabes are not only fictional characters, but they are among us. On our own campus.

Chuck Bass:

President of his fraternity. Gets off on only mixing with the hottest sorority on campus. Doesn’t show up to class because daddy has a job lined up for him after college. His only personality trait is being in a frat. Thinks “Margarita Monday” is an actual holiday. Takes the entire frat on spring break to his family's vacation home in Cancun.

Blair Waldorf:

Blair shows up to her 8 A.M. in a skirt and heels because she must “always dress to impress.” President of the fashion club, the student government and is a global ambassador because of the one time she studied abroad in Paris. Studying abroad is the only thing she will ever talk to you about and her love for France because she is so "cultured." Just in case you missed her 800 Instagram pictures last semester in front of the Eiffel Tower, and eating a Macaroon outside of the Louvre, she'll show you them any excuse she gets. She also always argues with the professor about being right and reminds them about the assignment due.

Nate Archibald:

Captain of the lacrosse team. You'll never actually see him in a class, but everyone on campus knows who he is. Too sweet to be in a frat but is lowkey kinda shy. His wardrobe consists of all sweatpants, with the school logo tattooed on. Can definitely rock a groutfit. Every girl wants him but he’s not looking for anything serious. Nate would rather just chill with the guys at the house and pound back some beers while watching the game.

Serena van der Woodsen:

Comes to class smelling like a faint hint of martini. Member of a sorority but doesn’t hold any leadership positions because she’s gotten too many warnings about her inappropriate Instagram pictures and drunken misbehavior at formal. Basically only went to college for her MRS. degree and is currently dating a guy 3 years older, so things are looking pretty good for her!

Dan Humphrey:

Writer for his school's newspaper. He will do anything to cover the story and doesn’t care who he may hurt in the process. Spends his weekends researching for the next best lead and travels around the area cold calling for interviews. Always has a camera around his neck, lurking to get the best shot.

Jenny Humphrey:

Jumped from friend group to friend group trying to navigate her way through the treacherous waters of freshmen year. Definitely got caught up in the freedom of college; slept around and went kind of bad shit crazy her first semester. Since then she has found her niche and started an Instagram account dedicated to her “dorm room designs." Her passion is for fashion so she spends most of her time sewing in her room, and having girls on her floor model them for her Instagram.

And which of them am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell...You know you love me XOXO.