There are a lot of things that are scary in college, but shaving your legs is the scariest. So, take my hand, and let's get through this together.
College bathrooms are grimy and damp pits from hell. Getting ready for a dorm shower is like preparing for battle. Arm yourself with a bar of soap, put on your rubber slides, and cling to your towel as you waddle out of your room – hoping and praying the soccer team down the hall can’t see your ass.
Once you make it to the bathroom, step into the cement cell that your college is calling a shower. Make sure to tip-toe over the minefield of hairballs and the piles of toxic goop. Duck and cover as sheets of cold water pelt your back, and try not to shiver. In about 72 hours, the water will get warm enough to stand under.
Now, you are ready to begin:
1. Take Your Time
Getting into the shower was hard. I’m proud of you for making it here. Now take a deep breath, shake out those nerves, and relax. Yes, what you just saw out of the corner of your eye is a cockroach. Don’t let him freak you out. You don’t want any knicks or neglected patches of hair, so go slow and take your sweet time.
2. The Wall Is Your Friend
You may be thinking at this point that you need to be a contortionist or Simone Biles to do this task. Start by raising one leg and placing your foot against the wall. Now, you look like a dog at a fire hydrant, and you have a beautiful view of your shin. The higher you can get your leg, the better, but be careful not to squash the shower-roach.
Make sure to keep your shoes on so you can use the rubber soles of your slides as suction cups, making sure you are not going to slip. There is nothing in this world that is more embarrassing than ha