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How to Know if You’re in Love With Your Friend

Falling in love can be confusing, especially if you don't know whether your feelings are romantic or platonic.

An elite friendship can feel dangerously close to a relationship. When you find someone you relate to, someone who understands you and sees you for who you are, feelings arise. Now, these are not always romantic. Friends share a level of intimacy that is unique to a friendship, especially when both people feel the same connection. However, it's not strange that this kind of connection can feel like falling in love.

If you're stuck trying to figure out if these new feelings are romantic or platonic, it's time to ask yourself these questions:

Do you get jealous when others take up their time?

Now, this may seem trivial. Everyone gets jealous when someone else takes up your friend's time. Yet, there's a difference between being annoyed or irritated they can't hang out, or hating the thought that you are not their priority. Next time this happens, bask in the feelings that arise and ask yourself: Am I jealous? Or am I just inconvenienced?

They are the first person you want to share good news with.

I bet this will be controversial because friends are usually the first to hear about big moments in your life. But there's a difference between being happy about something and wanting to share that with them, and getting joy from getting to tell them about something. Next time a big moment happens, think about why you want to share that with them. Does the thought of them being happy for you bring you joy before you even tell them? This could mean your feelings are more than platonic.

How often do you think about them and in what context?

Your best friend and you have shared hands down the most significant moments of your life. It's normal to reminisce and share stories about those moments and laugh until your sides hurt. But are these moments being romanticized in your head? The difference is simple. When you think about the moments you shared, what feelings arise?

You gravitate towards them...physically

If you're sitting next to them and you get urges to hold their hand or play with their hair, that says A LOT about your feelings towards them. Next time you're around them, be aware of this.

You compare them to your crush

Comparing friends to your crushes is the deciding factor. Friends exist on a completely different plane than the people you dated, liked, or loved romantically. It's easy to separate these two planes apart. But if you find yourself comparing your previous crushes to your friend, more often than not this means you have developed feelings for them.

And lastly, you think about "someday" with them.

This will feel like a personal attack, but I promise if you make peace with it, this question alone will help you figure your feelings out. Have you ever thought about "someday" with your friend? Someday is the magical place that does not exist in real day and time, but the feelings that create it are very much real. If your daydreaming or the scenarios you make up before bed include your friend, there's a 99% chance that feelings are involved.


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