Sometimes, it might just be easier to move on.
Free at last! Free at last! Finally, we are no longer forced to stay hunkered down in our rooms feeling as if the world is caving in on us due to that thing going on called a global pandemic. Now that it feels like forever since you’ve hung out with other people besides your parents, you decided to text your friend just to see if they have any time to catch up. Unfortunately, you soon realize that their lack of response is an indicator that your friendship might not be as strong as it used to be. If you didn’t get that overly excited, “Let’s definitely hang!!!!” multi-exclamation point response that you were hoping for, it might be time to take a step back and look to see how to get out of that “no longer friends” funk.
Step 1: Ask Yourself, “What Kind Of Friendship Did I Lose?”
There are three different types of friendships and you most likely just experienced losing someone from one of these types. There’s the “Familiar Face” friendship: Someone who is seen as an acquaintance and only speaks to you circumstantially such as at school or at work. A “regular friend”: Someone who you speak to consistently and have a relatively simple time reaching out to in order to hang out. And lastly, the “true friend till the end” friendship: the person who you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets to, keeping them as close to their heart as possible. These friendships are few and far between but are definitely worth it.
Step 2: Go Out There and Make Some New Friends
Now, I know you probably don’t want to hear this but...it’s time to move on. Trust me, this is definitely the hardest part of getting over a broken friendship. It’s no different than stepping into a new romantic relationship. The nervousness of making the first move, the fear of rejection. It’s all there when you seek out new friendships.
Personally, I’ve been in this situation before. Finding someone you truly connect with can be hard but it doesn’t have to be impossible. You can try a few different apps to set you up with the perfect friend date such as Bumble BFF. (Yeah, if you didn’t know, If that seems too daunting to you, start by taking note of your surroundings and getting to know people outside your immediate circle organically. If you’re currently in college or high school, get out there and meet new people through clubs and societies. Having things in common is how most friendships start. You’d be surprised how strong of a connection you can build with someone in your painting club at school.
Step 2: Figuring Out What You Got Out of Past Friendships
We’ve all been there. You’re having the time of your life with one of your best when suddenly, reality sets in, and you realize that this friendship is broken beyond repair. I’ve had my fair share of “Familiar Face” relationships and still do to this day. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not getting anything out of them as I tend to be someone who looks for deep connection with others but, with time, it’s something that I’ve experienced. Pre-pandemic, meeting up with a friend was easy. All you had to do was give them a Facetime call or a text and the world was your oyster. Now, it seems like “true friendships” are a scarcity.
So word of advice to those out there looking to call someone their brother from another mother or sister from another mister:, if you’ve learned anything from those past mistakes you made, look at what you’re trying to get out of the friendship before jumping into something “serious” so you don’t end up having to experience another break up.