What else would I rather be doing with my life than explaining to my grandma that I’m “talking” to this boy but not actually dating. “So that’s your boyfriend?”, she asks. And now I have to explain the complicated talking stage of being together but not being together at the same time. The only way that made sense to explain it to her was through a Drake verse from his song Doing It Wrong.
“We live in a generation of not being in love and not being together. But we sure make it feel like we’re together. ‘Cause we’re scared to see each other with somebody else.”
The new relationship status that our generation goes by is the word “talk” which basically means that two people act as if they’re in a relationship but they’re not. They go on dates, hang out all the time, and talk on the phone 24/7 but the only difference is they don’t have a title. So, what is really the talking stage if you’re doing the same thing that you would in a relationship just with no title? The answer ladies and gentlemen is a big waste of time!
The “talking stage” was designed for you to mess around with that one person you really like while still being able to do your thing on the side. But don’t be fooled, there are rules and regulations to these “situationships”. Don’t over call or over text because you don’t want to come off to clingy. Don’t act like you care too much because that can be used against you to take advantage. Neither wants to ask the question of “What are we?” to avoid the awkward conversation and the rejection of being told “I’m not ready for anything serious right now.”
Now not all situationships are bad and rely on these rules. Some people get lucky enough to move on to the “exclusive talking stage”. This is when both parties are confirmed exclusive but still don’t have the title of a relationship. Makes no sense, right? Why not make it official if you both are exclusive? Well that’s because it’s all a part of the game people. Now although he/she may have told you that we’re exclusive and you’re “the only one”, they keep this open for room to fuck up. So just in case another option grabs their attention they can hop on to it because remember there’s no title and they’re free to do whatever they want. Sad, but that’s all a part of the game people.
We’ve all been there, stuck in these “situationships” because you don’t want to be without that person. But does that mean you have to tolerate all the nonsense of this complicated game? Advice to the ladies. DON’T DO IT. You’ll only end up hurt in the end girls. All you need is the right guy to smooth talk you into thinking that you guys can stay in this romantic talking stage forever and it’ll be all sunflowers and daisies. Ladies you know what you want and you shouldn’t have to settle for something you don’t want. If he doesn’t want to be committed to you, quite frankly he never will. So, move on while you still have some pride left before you’re too far gone. And another tip. Don’t be a sad girl. Let him know if these are the games he wants to play, you play chess not checkers! Sometimes you have to play these games for a little so he knows he can’t run all over you’re an open freeway. Most importantly be young. Stop planning your wedding already you’re only 21. Let’s be real, you probably won’t end up marrying this guy and having four kids with him named Ava, Aiden, Carter & Cadence. And that’s perfectly okay. So, let it go and move on. The faster you do that the less it’ll hurt in the end
Now to my “players”, my “womanizers”, and “smooth talkers”. Don’t be that guy. Be honest and upfront. You don’t have to lead every girl on because some are running the same games, probably better if you ask me. And why are all guys so scared of commitment? Do you want to be 40 years old, living with your mom, sneaking different women in the house every night?
Now with that being said nothing is wrong with taking your time and getting to know someone during this time. But if you find yourself playing the role of “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” and you’re not, try not to waste your time any further. During the four to six month marking period should be the time things start to get serious. So, ladies speak up and don’t settle for less and men don’t try not to lead anybody on, no one wants to be on the meet, talk, fall off, repeat cycle forever.