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Don't Call Me A "Bruh Girl"

The term "bruh girl" is running rampant all over social media, especially on Tik Tok. But when you hear those words, do you think it's a compliment? Why? Below is an explanation as to why being a "bruh girl" is actually an insult.

Graphic by Alyona Baranoff.

She's not like other girls, she's a "cool girl."

We’ve all heard it before. Whether it be in the movies or maybe your high school boyfriend said it about you thinking it was a compliment while trying to impress his friends.

Either way, what the fuck is a “cool girl” (nowadays we call it the "bruh girl") and why did we let men come up with the idea and define us as such? I refuse. I fucking hate the cool girl ideology.

(For the sake of this article, I will be using the terms cool girl and bruh girl interchangeably)

The first person to diagnose this trope in pop culture was Gillian Flynn, author of the best-selling book Gone Girl (2012). She provided us with an amazing monologue that encapsulates the cool girl to a T:

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the cool girl means that I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because cool girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the cool girl.”

There’s a lot to unpack here.

The key to the cool girl is that she reflects the male’s interests. She is someone who is paradoxically living a “masculine” lifestyle but simultaneously exists as the height of femininity when it comes to her outward appearance.

As Flynn said, stuffing your face with food and beer while remaining a size 2. I don’t know about you, but if I ate the way my boyfriend did, I’d be 30 pounds heavier. Men do not deserve the speedy metabolism they are blessed with.

Symptoms of the bruh girl are as follows:

  • She’s described as “one of the guys”

  • She has a passion for cars, sports or other stereotypical masculine activities.

  • She likes what HE likes.

  • She’s fun-loving, raunchy, and uninhibited.

  • She loves junk food and beer.

  • She’s easygoing and never gets angry.

  • And this bro-ish temperament just so happens to be perfectly packaged in an effortlessly hot female bod.

So you see, the thing is, none of these qualities matter unless the girl is conventionally attractive and fitting toward the male gaze.

Here are a few examples of this character in mainstream media:

  • Donna from That 70’s Show

  • Robin from How I Met Your Mother

  • Black Widow from the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

  • Megan Fox in Transformers

  • Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Honestly, I could go on and on. Because once you’re made aware of the cool girl trope, you realize it’s literally everywhere. In every single movie or TV show created by, you guessed it...

A dude.

Essentially, it’s a male fantasy that gets played out on the silver screen and creates unrealistic standards for real women to match, and unrealistic expectations for men when looking for a partner.

As Flynn said, “You are not dating a cool girl, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.”

Boom roasted.

I hate that guys think it’s a compliment to call me a “bro” and tell me that I’m “different” because I’m “just one of the guys”.

Dude if you want “one of the guys” just go fuck one of your friends then? Leave me out of it.

But anyway, the most important thing is that the cool girl isn’t a real girl. She is a myth created by men and perpetuated by women trying to be her.

Men, I hate to burst your bubble. Ladies, being yourself is more than enough, don’t hide it.

Also, keep in mind it's okay to like "bruh" things too. The problem isn't what you like, it's what you're being called. If you love cars, beer, or just being gritty why does society automatically have to categorize you as masculine for doing so?

You're not a "bruh girl."
You're just you.

I am sometimes guilty of falling victim to the cool girl trope, to be fair, I grew up watching all these male fantasies play out in my favorite TV shows and movies as previously mentioned. But I’m working toward unlearning that instilled behavior because the idea of being a “cool girl” is fake. And most importantly, if you’re not being yourself then what’s the point?

I am like other girls, and I’m proud to be.

The term “cool girl” is redundant anyway.


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